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[Ash Redfern]

Combination of guilt because they work, and the pop psychology crap that says you should only say good things about your kids or you'll crush their spirit.

Pop psychology is annoying, since most of it is usually founded on theories that haven't been properly tested, if even tested at all. If individuals would actually take a look at the real, supported psychology, then they wouldn't have this problem with sheltering/coddling their children. They would know that it is an ineffective and harmful way of raising a child. There needs to be a balance between a permissive parenting style and a dominating parenting style and this really isn't anything new. Studies about what kind of parenting style produces the best results have been around for quite some time. But, like usual, individuals tend to ignore anything that is the least bit logical.

And it has already been proven that abstinence-only programs, and those silly purity rings, not only don't work but that they come with an obviously much higher rate of teenagers coming away with more STDs and HIV infections since they were never taught proper means of protection and safety.

About intelligent design, well I'm going to have to agree with mando on that one.

[donovan]

Abstinence-Only programs are being taught because the school districts need federal money.  Although, for the most part, I think that the majority of our country needs to learn a thing or two about self-control, I don't think this is the best way to do so.  Since it clearly doesn't work.
Website about the federal history for Abstinence-Only programs
Okay, I have to finish studying now.  Bye

[Kirkat]

Suppose it says nothing about divorce rates for people who find their new spouse is crap in bed then?

[MizzKitty]

Suppose it says nothing about divorce rates for people who find their new spouse is crap in bed then?

Most people can learn and adapt. So most of that would go into the divorce rates for people who can't be bothered to even try. And divorce rates for pervs. And incompatibility divorce rates.

Can anyone tell that I'm procrastinating when I should be studying?

[Kirkat]

Can anyone tell that I'm procrastinating when I should be studying?

Oh good, thought I was the only one.

ETA I think the best way to promote carefulness is what my mum did to me, showing me videos of labour and all the proceedures associated with it. Pictures of people suffering with syphilus also were helpful (If not nightmare inducing)
 :twisted:

[cogitoergosim]

The "crap in bed" thing can be dealt with. If there's patience and love. A lot of love and a lot of patience.



A lot.

[donovan]

Seriously, if you want to discourage sex, just hunt down a detailed pathophysiology textbook.  You might be able to find one at a decent sized university library.  Find the chapter on STDs and share with your child.  I have a text that's got the NASTIEST photos of herpes.  I cannot stress how gross these photos were.  I almost cried.

and I'm with you guys on the procrastination

ETA library.  Why the heck would you want those pictures lying around unless you absolutely had to?

[missangelica]

Well, Carlos Mencia has started a "So You Think You Can Rant" contest.  Who wants to rant their little hearts out about what we've been talking about? abstinence or creationism/intelligence design?  If you win, the video will be played on his show!

http://www.comedycentral.com/shows/mind_of_mencia/ugc/main.jhtml

[Aquamarine]

...the pop psychology crap that says you should only say good things about your kids or you'll crush their spirit.

Beware, tl;dr rant ahead!

I want to find the individuals who came up with that and crush their reproductive organs. Excessive coddling will likely give your kids a false perception of how life works, so when they go out into the real world, they end up as completely maladjusted pricks who want everything handed to them. They will proceed to throw all manner of self-destructive tantrums and invent psychoses ("omg my parents never loved me!") so that some moronic psychiatrist can prescribe them a pill for what could've easily been cured in childhood by decent parenting and not this new-age Barney bullshit.

Quite frankly, I find the systematic pussification of America appalling. This is becoming a nation of spoiled little brats who have no concept of how to relate to their fellow human outside of the "gimmegimmegimme" mentality. They're terrified of criticism, minor failures, or any sort of disapproval and they react violently when met with anything but mindless, sycophantic praise.

I hate these people and I have to deal with them on a day-to-day basis. "Omg this test is so hard because it's not all multiple-choice!" Why the fuck are you in college if you didn't expect difficulty? Or "I got straight A's on papers in high school so this must be a bad teacher!" No, your writing is shit and you've just been confronted with that sad reality. But nooooo, these idiots congregate and with the spasming of their collective brain cell, form a plan to get the professor reprimanded/fired.

Ughughugh*explodes*

[donovan]

But nooooo, these idiots congregate and with the spasming of their collective brain cell, form a plan to get the professor reprimanded/fired.

This acutally happened to at least one of my professors.  I think that there were actually 3 of us that didn't complain about it.  It's sad too, because she was really brilliant.

[mando]

Quite frankly, I find the systematic pussification of America appalling. This is becoming a nation of spoiled little brats who have no concept of how to relate to their fellow human outside of the "gimmegimmegimme" mentality. They're terrified of criticism, minor failures, or any sort of disapproval and they react violently when met with anything but mindless, sycophantic praise.

It's a good thing people can come here then, heh.
When I was going to art school, this kind of behaviour was crushed out of people right quick. It sounds weird to say, especially since the perception of an art school is that it would be touchy feely, happy crap, but it was a place where you would have to be confronted with constant critcism not just from your teachers, but from your peers (students) as well. It's hard to say that your work is masterpiece, when you're confronted with 10-30 people who tell you it's a piece of shit and makes no sense.

[missangelica]

...but it was a place where you would have to be confronted with constant critcism not just from your teachers, but from your peers (students) as well. It's hard to say that your work is masterpiece, when you're confronted with 10-30 people who tell you it's a piece of shit and makes no sense.

*claps*  SPOT ON, mando.  This is how it is for me in my art schooling as well.  First few times they put you and your artwork to be judged by the teacher and class can be very trying but you get used to it and (should) like that amount of honesty.

ETA:  Feedback from your peers and teachers is extremely important because they may see (and do) what you can't in the artwork that is not working.  You get wrapped up in it while making the artwork so it's harder for you to see it objectively.  They look at it with fresh eyes.

Learning how to do constructive criticism helps being more receptive to others' comments about yours as well.

[mando]

*claps*  SPOT ON, mando.  This is how it is for me in my art schooling as well.  First few times they put you and your artwork to be judged by the teacher and class can be very trying but you get used to it and (should) like that amount of honesty.

Absolutely, I always felt better for it. It let me see where any problems I was having were (e.g. "Wow, they're right. This really is a piece of shit"), and gave me the opportunity to correct them or rethink what I was doing. It also taught the students the valuable lesson of not believing that criticism of your work is equal to personal criticism, no matter how harsh it is. "My work is not myself" might have been one of the most important lessons I learned at school.

I'm actually surprised that this kind of thing isn't done more in other disciplines, as it would probably cut down on that "I am awesome" crap. I know that in the sciences peer review is standard as well. I suppose in larger classes it would be difficult to do, but better to crush those spirits earlier than later, I say  :lol: .

[calalily]

I want to find the individuals who came up with that and crush their reproductive organs.

His name, humourously enough is Dr. Spock.  Not the vulcan - a real psychologist who came out with the first nicey nice parenting book, which took the world by storm.  My parents hated the man with a passion.

http://www.drspock.com/article/0,1510,3925,00.html

This is becoming a nation of spoiled little brats who have no concept of how to relate to their fellow human outside of the "gimmegimmegimme" mentality. They're terrified of criticism, minor failures, or any sort of disapproval and they react violently when met with anything but mindless, sycophantic praise.

Ah, so it is relevant to paysites after all. *Waits for less than half a day for Sherrie to liken it to Atwa*

These idiots congregate and with the spasming of their collective brain cell, form a plan to get the professor reprimanded/fired.

Yeah, I freaked out about that before I agreed to tutor.  Asked my supervisor, and she said that they side with me first.  As I said, I had that student complain, but guess what, she still got a 4, and I've still got my job.

[Aquamarine]

I want to find the individuals who came up with that and crush their reproductive organs.

His name, humourously enough is Dr. Spock.  Not the vulcan - a real psychologist who came out with the first nicey nice parenting book, which took the world by storm.  My parents hated the man with a passion.

http://www.drspock.com/article/0,1510,3925,00.html

Ah well, he's dead. I guess I could always kick over his tombstone to make myself feel better.

This is becoming a nation of spoiled little brats who have no concept of how to relate to their fellow human outside of the "gimmegimmegimme" mentality. They're terrified of criticism, minor failures, or any sort of disapproval and they react violently when met with anything but mindless, sycophantic praise.

Ah, so it is relevant to paysites after all. *Waits for less than half a day for Sherrie to liken it to Atwa*

That occurred to me mid-way. I wouldn't limit it to paysites, though; there are plenty of free creators with the same mentality or are just otherwise batshit.

These idiots congregate and with the spasming of their collective brain cell, form a plan to get the professor reprimanded/fired.

Yeah, I freaked out about that before I agreed to tutor.  Asked my supervisor, and she said that they side with me first.  As I said, I had that student complain, but guess what, she still got a 4, and I've still got my job.

I had a professor who's going for tenure - last semester he assigned papers in one of his classes, and some girl did so badly that she immediately broke down crying. He has a policy where you get to revise and resubmit a certain amount of papers and he'll take the higher of the two grades, so fucking one up isn't such a big deal. He tried to comfort her with this knowledge, and put his hand on her shoulder. The next thing he knows is that there's a sexual harassment complaint with his name on it, signed by the girl in question and several other members of the class with lackluster grades on that essay. Hilariously, some of the students who signed this thing were male.

This guy's always in trouble with students for refusing to hand out undeserved grades, which is a shame, because he's a really good teacher. Glad things worked out in your case, though.