More Smutty Than You: TSR's Hall of Shame

[MissBlondie]

It is still scary Kragey. Do you guys actually use them? 'Cause i have been a few time in Germany and I can't get myself to use them. Are we allowed to? Or are they killer toilets who eat whoever dares to use them?

[glasscigarette]

I didn't know you were German, Kragey! I love Germans! I'd eat in your toilet any day.

Wait. That came out wrong.

[Dr House]

I didn't know you were German, Kragey! I love Germans! I'd eat in your toilet any day.

Wait. That came out wrong.

Now that's precious!

[cookiepirate]

...FRENCH TOILETS.


Oh, how I wish they had real toilets. WITH TOILET PAPER.

* Tchan is going to France tomorrow morning for a week and is not happy about that.

First time I used a French toilet was at a rest area, and there was just several holes in the tile to pee in.  (I had to go ask what they were for! )  No toilet paper or even any walls for privacy, just one big room with holes.  I had never seen anything like it and found it to be disgusting (I know, I'm a puritanical American, especially then  ).  Even an old outhouse back in the hills will at least have a place to sit down over the hole.  Luckily, it was very late at night and no one else was at the rest stop, so I used the disabled toilet (shhh!) which was a normal toilet.  This was in 1996, and hopefully, they've been updated since then.  Good luck, Tchan!   

[Tchannie]

Cookiepirate: In Brittany, a good half of the public town toilets are EXACTLY LIKE THAT. They're called "holes in the ground". No, seriously. That's what they're called.
I think I will carry a toilet roll or hankerchiefs or something in my bag everywhere I go. Or use the disabled toilet. That's a good idea.

[Dr House]

And what if you use the disabled one and when you're finished, get out and meet with a disabled woman who was waiting for you? It happened to me once, gosh i wanted to jump into the toilet's hole to hide So i'l never use them again. 'rather run home.

[Paden]

First thing: take disinfectant wipes for the seat, if there is one.

Second thing: if you come out of the disabled toilet to find someone waiting on you, scream, "it's a miracle!" and dance the hell out of there.

Third thing: If you're not sure they're gonna have paper, take your own bog roll or be prepared to face the damp uncomfies.

Fourth thing: Do it before you leave home!

[Dr House]

I mean she was waiting for me to get out to be able to use the damn toilet

[Paden]

I should have phrased that second one to say, "if you come out of the disabled toilet to find someone waiting on you to get out of there so they can use it and glaring at you, scream, "it's a miracle!" and dance the hell out of there!" Sorry bout that, I forgot that not everyone is familiar with that particular phrase in American speech.

Just as an aside, though: The language spoken in Great Britain and America has diverged so much that maybe it's time that what is spoken in Great Britain should be referred to as English and the warped version we have over here in the US should be called American? Just an idea...

[Dr House]

Ow, i misunderstood, sorry. English not my first language, you know that. So it's sometimes tedious. God knows why i understood 'being mugged'
The idea of miracle is good but missing the walking cane or the wheelchair is a flaw. Yet you have time to run away during the confusion! I felt so ashamed that day, 'was horrible. Agh!
Agree on the distinction between english and american (even if the differences are not extremely clear to me, but i fail a lot heh)

[glasscigarette]

if you come out of the disabled toilet to find someone waiting on you, scream, "it's a miracle!" and dance the hell out of there.

*insane cackle*

Ow, i misunderstood, sorry. English not my first language, you know that. So it's sometimes tedious. God knows why i understood 'being mugged'
The idea of miracle is good but missing the wanlking cane or the wheelchair is a flaw. Yet you have time to run away during the confusion! I felt so ashamed that day, 'was horrible. Agh!
Agree on the distinction between english and american (even if the differences are not extremely clear to me, but i fail a lot heh)

Call me unobservant, but I had no idea that English was not your first language! You write more clearly and effectively than most native speakers I've run across. In addition to my internet experience, I worked as a university writing tutor for years, so I've stumbled across some real gems, and I mean that in both the literal and the sarcastic senses. So...uh, good job, or something. You're definitely doing something right.

[falln_angel]

I felt so ashamed that day, 'was horrible. Agh!

I probably would have faked a limp and then felt horrible about it afterwards. I use the disabled washroom at work from time to time (I work at a community centre but don't have access to the staff bathroom, if there even is one) because it's almost always the cleanest. But I don't spend a long time in the washroom when I'm away from home anyway, so I wouldn't feel too bad if someone was waiting when I came out. I'm kind of heartless that way.

[Jess Maree]

You know what toilets I hate? Toilets in camping grounds. Srsly. And those "eco-friendly" terlets, AKA holes in the ground. I hate camping anyways, but going to the terlet block in the middle of the night scares the shit outta me. When I was a kid, I went to the terlet block one night when we went camping in Kakadu (back when I lived in Darwin) and when I got there my torch died, a giant spider almost bit my arse and a giant, black, hairy spider crawled up me legs and onto my lap.

There is the story of my fear of spiders, hatred of camping and somewhat fear of the dark. I was only 6 in Pescado years...

[Scurvy Wench]

You know what toilets I hate? Toilets in camping grounds.

When I was an actual 12 I went on a feild trip to a local day camp. My group went in to inspect the toilets after getting bored of doing some pointless crap with a compass. It was jarring to say the least. Every toilet, save one or two, was clogged beyond beilef. I guess that as long as at least ONE toilet is working the staff doesn't bother to fix anything. Campers would just keep using them over and over, but they couldn't flush. Imagine the stench of months, if not years, of human waste and toilet paper sitting in a small cabin without windows or any ventilation. I preffer an outhouse anyday. 

[Paden]

There is always the option to dig a trench and throw a skinny log in front of it with toilet paper beside it if you wanna avoid some of the stinkier outhouses to be found in some campgrounds...