Alice Fashion -- Dead/News

[Devilfish]

Far better to do something. I spoke to a woman at a taxi rank once - 23 with 4 kids - and wanted to stop, but couldn't get the operation at all and nor could her husband.  She was resigned to having more kids, while dreading it, cause birth control had failed 4 times.  

How can birth control fail 4 times by the age of 23?

I imagine they must not have been using it properly.

That's what I was thinking. But if it really did, I do feel for her. The laws of probability did a nasty number on her.
It's times like these when I'm thankful I live in Belgium though. It's not the best country to live in but at least we've got good health care.

[alia]

Some women are just incredibly fertile. It's not that they do not know how to use birth control, it's just that if there is even the slightest chance, they will get pregnant.

Fact of life. Thank god I'm not one of them!

[ws-jessica]

sorry to push you guys back on-topic, but i contacted alicefashion again to see if she'd be ok with her items being put on the graveyard, and she said she would be ok with it, but that she has talked to a friend about fixing the broken files.
So the broken files may be fixed soon, but if any of you have any of her files could you send them to the graveyard? Once her site is working properly again, they'll be taken down.

[deelink]

Good news Jessica! Thank you!

Well guys, I've told all my girlfriends that when they start having kids they can come and visit crazy auntie Dee. Who will feed them good food, and let them read our comic collection, watch our DVD's and play with  uncle's action figures. We have a nice backyard too with flowers and stuff.

I actually can't wait for that. The thing is that I know there is a lot of joy to babies, but there is a lot of pain. I have a lot of issues to sort out at age 28, and until I resolve them, and until I really have a burning desire to have children. I'm quite happy to be Auntie Dee  :wink:

It does make me happy that everyone is tolerable to a woman's choice in regards to motherhood. It's a very personal and contextual question and it's something to think about deeply!

[calalily]

That's good Jess.

And there are some women who get pregnant at the drop of a hat.  The pill isn't particularly effective, and can be circumvented by antibiotics IIRC.

I've known of some weird situations - a guy who had a vascectomy and had another child after that, a woman who had her tubes tied, and became pregnant, and there is high anecdotal evidence that some Islander (as in South Pacific Islander) women *having their periods while pregnant*.  

One of my friends of Islander descent had her periods for 7 months while pregnant - so she didn't know until she went into premature labour, which she thought was appendix pain, until she had the baby 20 minutes later.  :shock:

[Druid]

Well guys, I've told all my girlfriends that when they start having kids they can come and visit crazy auntie Dee. Who will feed them good food, and let them read our comic collection, watch our DVD's and play with  uncle's action figures. We have a nice backyard too with flowers and stuff.

Dee, that's exactly how i feel. My best friend got married in July (he "doesn't want" kids, but his wife wants a brood  :lol:) and I told them to hurry up and get pregnant so I have a baby to come over and spoil. I'm still pretty young ("18" still...just barely... by the rule), but I want kids less and less as I age... Not that i'm doing anything drastic, like Hec warned against.

Cala, my aunt had her period for 3 months into her pregnancy - obviously not as extreme as your example, just sharing. They didn't know she was pregnant until she skipped month 4 and they went to the Dr and found out how far along it was. (That terrifies me to this day - that I will become pregnant and not know it for months...)

[calalily]

That terrifies me to this day - that I will become pregnant and not know it for months.

I've got Islander in me too - and I didn't have an inkling until about 3 months in. Other than weight gain (or what I thought was weight gain) around the tummy, there was no stoppage of period to indicate I was pregnant.   Felt like being on a rollercoaster till D-day, particularly with some mothers insistence on telling me horror stories about labour.  

[SmilingSweetly]

Speaking of babies. I just found out that my favorite niece who was diagnosed with  Hydrocephalus at three months is expecting her first baby!!

My sister was told, when they first diagnosed my niece, that she would suffer from brain damage and all other sorts of problems. The doctors were so wrong. Instead she has an IQ through the roof, was always in gifted and advanced classes, and she graduated with honors - top of her class. She has undergone many surgeries in connection with the shunt and yet has far exceeded her peers. She grew into such a lovely brilliant young lady.

She had her first doctor visit this week with an OB doctor, who has dealt with patients who had been diagnosed with Hydrocephalus, and everything is looking great!

We are all so very excited for her, I just wanted to share with you all!

[deelink]

Awesome Sweet!

Yay! Great news  :twisted:

[euterpe]

I was one of those who wanted...and tried...and couldn't  :cry:   It was a very difficult time for hubby and me, but we figured that there must have been some divine reason it wasn't meant to be.

Now we're a bit older and financially settled, we're looking into adopting an older sibling group of two.  And I have to tell you that if biological parents had to go through all the interviews and classes that we are before having children, there would be a lot fewer unwanted and abused children in this world.

[calalily]

Wow, that's fantastic SmilingSweetly. Shunts are a bloody hassle, but it's good that hers has allowed her to have a good life.

Now we're a bit older and financially settled, we're looking into adopting an older sibling group of two.

That's good though - you can change the lives of some kids who might not have had someone to love them.  That's a special peice of goodness right there.   And hopefully they will have kids, and you'll get to be grandparents - which is all the fun and none of the throwing up and being thrown up on.  :lol:

[Druid]

doh, Cala, I meant to put in my previous post that we are NOT islander. It was late and apparently my brain flaked out. @_@ I was just saying, it's not just islanders that it happens to.

Euterpe - hearing about people who want babies and can't have them always makes me sad. It's fantastic you're looking to adopt. Esp. since you are looking at older ones... the babies "fly off the shelves" so to speak, but the older ones always have a hard time getting placed.

[calalily]

doh, Cala, I meant to put in my previous post that we are NOT islander. It was late and apparently my brain flaked out. @_@ I was just saying, it's not just islanders that it happens to.

Oh - it's alright - I got that bit.  I was referring to my own previous post.  Without doubt it crops up in all ethnicities, but I personally know of lots of islander women who have the problem.  

[millahnna]

The pill isn't particularly effective, and can be circumvented by antibiotics IIRC.

A funny little factoid that OBGYN's don't like to pass onto to their patients for some strange reason.  I have a genetic tendency towards a lot of girlie infections and it was a Planned Parenthood doctor who finally warned me of this when I went in for an exam and some anit-bios for yet another case of BV.  It's probably how I got pregnant when I was 19 and heading for Navy boot camp (where the miscarriage took place).  Fortunately, I can't take the pill anymore and the health problems seem to have taken their tole as there are more than a few times in my 20s where I probably should have gotten knocked up but didn't.

It's too bad I'm a smoker, I'd love to give my eggs to some woman who wants kids but can't have any.  Much better use for them than sitting around in my body.

I wish that prospective bio-parents had to go through the same process that foster and adoptive parents do.  The world would be a better place.  Good on you for looking for older siblings.  If I ever change my mind about having kids, I plan to adopt instead of giving birth.  Everyone wants puppies and kittens, I mean babies.  But no one seems to want to older kids and I have a lot of friends who went through foster care so I'd love to save a child from that experience.

[Hecubus]

As long as that parent education includes a lesson entitled "Your child's schoolteachers are not their ONLY teachers" - my sister teaches first grade, and it's a crime to know how many parents do NOT participate in their kids' educations. It's too bad - because the kids whose parents are involved do a lot better in school.