Alice Fashion -- Dead/News

[millahnna]

I don't take well to child-haters. It's like they are trying there hardest to ignore these brilliant, funny, intelligent creatures. Children teach us so much we've forgotten and I have a healthy dose of respect for what they unknowingly teach.

I know exactly how you feel.  I so overly identify with kids, particularly teens and preteens you'd think I still was one sometimes (actually I can pass, I do theatre and still play teens at 32 on occasion).  I find it so disturbing to see people ignore their kids like their thoughts aren't valid.  Sometimes I wonder if I'm the only person who made it to adulthood still remembering what it was like to BE a kid.  

It's really hard to explain to people that I love kids but don't want to have any of my own.  A long list of reasons go into this and most of it falls into the category of "No one's damned business" such as health and philosophical issues and the like.  They can be a bit complicated to explain and most are very personal.  Not exactly something I'm going to explain to a random on the street.  Randoms on the interwebs are fine though.  

But man do people look at me like I'm nuts when I have a friend's toddler climbing all over me but then answer the question of when I'm having my own with a hearty "never."

On the upside, early menopause runs in my family so I should be past my own childbearing years in 10-15 years.  Then my idiot relatives can stop asking.

[deelink]

I totally understand guys. I also don't think it's necessary to have kids. First of all, I believe that a child deserves loads of attention and love, and I just don't have it in me. I'm very eccentric and distracted, and am buried in one task to the other, I don't think a child would be very happy with me lol

That and the fact the responsibility seems too overwhelming.

Many reasons, and I understand about family pressure too. My mother won't take "No" for an answer, so I have to keep saying "Maybe one day" but I highly doubt it. My bf doesn't care either way.

I think the difference is that I like looking at toddlers and children, but when they cry or are mad acting spoilt. I don't know what to do. I don't have any maternal instincts at all! I think motherhood is a very brave situation to be in!

[alia]

:lol:
Heh. I have to say one thing, though. When you're in your twenties, don't do anything permanent (i.e. get sterilized) just because you think you'll never have kids. When I was younger, I was all: "Kids? Never!" Then it turned into: "Perhaps some day..." and now I'm slowly moving towards: "Want!" :lol: I'm not hysterical about it, though.

Having said that, I totally understand people who do not want kids. For example, my best friend has known since childhood that she'll never have kids. She loves her nephews, but she just does not feel the need to have  kids, and I understand her completely.  It is just such a deeply personal choice, and I think it is very insensitive to badger people about it. After all, there are all these people who cannot have kids, and if well-meaning strangers ask "When are you going to have kids" it must feel terrible.

So, I never ask people that, basically, because it is none of my business.

[missangelica]

Hear that clock ticking, alia?   :lol:

[alia]

Hehe, somewhere in the background, yes. :lol:

I've never had the craving or the need, though. I just figured, I better get the kids while I'm still young enough. You know, if you wait too long, staying up all those night's gonna turn you into a zombie. (I know it will anyways, but when you're younger, you need less sleep than when you're in your 40ies, so you're going to recover faster.) :lol:

[keirra]

I have 2 grown sons and I love being a mom (and now a grandma).  I knew from a young age that I wanted to be "married with children".  I had my boys at 19 and 21 and kind-of grew up with them.  They are now out of the house and doing very well.

I completely understand the choice to not have children and agree that if you don't want them, don't let anyone pressure you into it.

The ideal thing would be to be able to skip parenthood and go right into being a grandparent.    Being a Grandma is awesome.  I get to spoil Josie and then send her home with her parents.  It's AWESOME!  :lol:

[Hecubus]

You say that, alia, yet I knew from the time I was 18 that I didn't want to have children. I've seen this whole annoying reproductive system as rather a bother - epsecially when it produces graperfuit-sized cysts.  I would have loved to have had the whole thing turned off/ripped out/stop doing its thing. (Yes, I know there are health benefits to having a working reproductive system - lower instances of this or that...but still. I'm not using it!)

[Paden]

*taps foot and looks VERY annoyed* I'm 42 and have a four-year old. I thought that I was already done with my child-bearing and rearing duties, but guess what? Mother Nature bushwhacked my ass with another one! Don't get me wrong, I ADORE my son, would not trade him for the world, but to find out at age thirty-eight that you're gonna be a mother again is something sobering.

It's also a good warning to you younger folk that if you're gonna play without the proper equipment, be ready to be responsible. Every woman has a choice about life, this I do know. Make the proper precautions part of that choice, though.

At my age, I should be worrying about whether or not we're gonna have enough money for retirement when the age hits, not potty training and stuff. That's something keirra's kids should be doing, not raising one of their own... At this rate, I'm gonna be too old and senile to spoil my son's kids!

Protect your playground or you're gonna be sweeping cereal and french fries out of your carpet for about eighteen years... And that's a modest estimate! But I still wouldn't trade my son, he's a ray of sunshine for many folks, some of them on this board!

[RedLove]

Well I really wanna have kids but I'm weighing my options: Watermelon sized human coming out of my vagina or being a dog lady. Dog lady is so winning right now.

Sorry for that but really now <.<

ETA: And Keirra I still can't wrap my brain around you being old enough to be a grandmother.  :lol: In fact, You're not old enough. Stop it.  :lol:

[keirra]

Wow! I need something to erase that mental image, Nish.  :shock:

 :lol:

ETA: Nish, I am a very young Gramma.  Turning 29 again soon.  :lol:

[Pooki]

There is no question whatsoever that I want kids.  I have wanted them since I was first married.  One day I will have them, but I also respect the fact that not everyone wants children.  I also know that I won't ask someone if they have children or why not if they don't.  I hate it when someone asks me that, so I extend the same respect to everyone else and don't ask.

[Hecubus]

I think that's the thing - if there's even a remote INKLING that you want kids, don't do anything drastic. Firmly sworn to be child-free folks like me, who have not just made the decision but seem to have had it made for them by their brains, might not be mistaken to have vastectomies, tubal ligations, etc.

[Markus]

I never want kids. Being an uncle is great though.

[AW]

*hangs head* I play Barbies with my daughter and watch Disney princess movies.  When our daughters were younger (several years ago), I went to the Back Street Boys concert on Friday night with the oldest and Barney on Saturday with the youngest.  The saddest part - I knew the words to almost all of the songs at both.  :shock:

[Jelenedra]

I don't have kids, but I do want them. Not until I get a house and with my PCOS I'm trying not to get my heart set on having kids. Basically I have a "if it happens" type of mentality right now. I'm sure it'll last four months before I get depressed about it. =p