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Author Topic: Streetchickers donation files  (Read 56008 times)
Darqstar
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Re: Streetchickers donation files
« Reply #270 on: 2008 December 20, 19:43:18 »
THANKS THIS IS GREAT

It's actually more effective to teach your kids that they don't have to respect all authority figures.  It helps if a kid can say no to someone who tells them what to do.  Most important for kids is critical thinking. Smiley

Although I've seen that backfire too.  When I was a kid, if an adult said, "Don't do that," I mostly wouldn't do it.  Now kids flip you the bird, because adults are just their buddies and all such.   In most cases, I don't care, except when they start calling me by my first name and acting like I have to take orders from them. But the other day, I told a kid to stop playing on the ice over the nearby pond.  His reaction? "Why do I have to listen to you." 

A minute or so later, when he fell through the ice, into the water, I called out, "That's why." 

Even though I was raised as a kid to respect adults, to call adults "Mr or Mrs. so-and-so," I also knew right from wrong.  When the guy up the street invited all us young girls to swim in his backyard pool and said it was okay for us to take our swimsuits off, alarm bells went off in mine and several other girl's heads.  We went home, told our parents, and the next thing we knew, Mr. Weirdo wouldn't even look in our direction if we were walking down the street.  And until he moved, any time any family with a young girl who moved in was alerted.  Parents alerted parents, we kids would alert the girl herself.  "Stay away from him, he's weird." 

I don't think teaching children that adults and authority figures are their equals and only to be listened to if they feel like it isn't the answer either. 
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dusdeedawn
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Re: Streetchickers donation files
« Reply #271 on: 2008 December 20, 20:00:25 »
THANKS THIS IS GREAT

I've found that it's kinda hard to teach children to both think for themselves and listen to older, presumably wiser people (their parents). My poor kid has a large respect for authority figures, and I don't know what I can do to make him understand that just because they're adults doesn't mean they're not idiots. On the other hand, these days he's pushing his limits (he's at that age) and is trying to get away with not doing anything we say. But the cutest thing happened when he was nearly nine. We moved back out to the woods, where I grew up, and one afternoon I decided to let him walk home from school. So he's walking, and my stepsister and her SO drive by on their way to their house. They stopped and asked him if he wanted a ride, but him, being really bad with faces/names (just like his father) had no clue who they were. Seriously. She told me that he stayed way back from their truck and yelled "I'm not allowed to talk to strangers!" They tried to tell him they weren't, but of course he wasn't falling for it. I was so proud. Also a little embarrassed, but mostly proud. Can't ask for better than that!
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calalily
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Re: Streetchickers donation files
« Reply #272 on: 2008 December 20, 20:19:35 »
THANKS THIS IS GREAT

Although I've seen that backfire too.  When I was a kid, if an adult said, "Don't do that," I mostly wouldn't do it.  Now kids flip you the bird, because adults are just their buddies and all such.   In most cases, I don't care, except when they start calling me by my first name and acting like I have to take orders from them.

It is a fine line, but I think it's possible.  I've taught my kids right from an early age to critique things like ads, and feelings of others (ie. why would such and such do that, do you think).  They realise that there are lines you don't cross, and that they aren't equal to an adult.  But some parents drum it into their kids that they must always do what adults tell them - and that doesn't work well. I never answer a "Why?" question with "Because I said so" or "Because I'm the mother" - that's asking for trouble and doesn't help with their understanding, or developing their reasoning skills. 

As it happened, they were approached by a dude in our backyard, who asked them if they wanted to come to his house for lollies.  The elder one told him to fuck off (in true calalily style  Cheesy ) and the younger backed away, and they came immediately to tell us. That's not to say that they swear at us, or at any adults - they don't - but nor do they automatically kowtow.

I've found that it's kinda hard to teach children to both think for themselves and listen to older, presumably wiser people (their parents). My poor kid has a large respect for authority figures, and I don't know what I can do to make him understand that just because they're adults doesn't mean they're not idiots.

Cheesy He did well. As for making him understand about authority figures, if he's at that stage, he'll soon come to the epiphany that adults aren't perfect.  But other than that, just letting him know you are fallible should go a great deal towards getting him to understand that people don't change in quality just because they're adults. 
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