Alice Fashion -- Dead/News

[redisenchanted]

I love my kids dearly. It did shock me though just how hard it was raising them. I wouldn't trade any of the experiences (well maybe a few of the teen ones) for anything though. I would never tell anyone they should have children, but I'd advise anyone under 30 not to do anything permanent about not having kids. You really can't predict how you will change and feel in the future.

[Devilfish]

I'd advise anyone under 30 not to do anything permanent about not having kids. You really can't predict how you will change and feel in the future.

Seconded.

I'm quite sure I don't want kids, and quite sure just isn't enough to warant any drastic measures. How hard is it to just use birth control anyway? I know there's always a chance they don't work as advertised, but seriously, it's not worth risking your future happiness. I'm a careful person and I do hope that in 10 years I won't be the person I am today. Who knows, maybe older me will love the idea of having a child.

I'm not doing anything drastic to my body. I'd feel... I don't know, not like me anymore. I got a female body in working order with all the bits and pieces intact and I'm overjoyed to be blessed this way. I wouldn't mess with it. I wouldn't chop of my arm, I'm not getting my tubes tied. Same difference to me.

...

So yeah, Alice Fashion's dead then? Huh...

[WedgewoodBlue]

Sometimes the choice is not ours to make, sadly enough. I grew up wanting a family desperately and no I didn't. I have reconciled myself to what happened, but still, I get pretty upset when I hear of women who have a family for all the wrong reasons.

At the tender age of 32 I had to have an emergency hysterectomy It was either that or die. I chose to live even though it meant the death of my only real dream. In retrospect I see now that it was probably a good thing that I didn't have children, although I always feel sorry for my self on Mother's Day.

Too many times I see where the kids do not come first, where their needs are not met, and it makes my blood boil. If you want kids, want them for the right reasons and not because you want somebody to love, and love you back. Once you are a parent, no matter how much time passes you will always be a parent. Even when you are 90 and your kid is 65, you are still a parent. A parent is a lifelong commitment, all I'm saying here is to be prepared.
For people like me who had the choice taken away from them, to see when kids don't come first, to hear stories of neglect and abuse, well lets just say
I have no pity for the parents in those cases, and drawing and quartering said parents at dawn is not as awful as it may seem.

[redisenchanted]

I have no pity for the parents in those cases, and drawing and quartering said parents at dawn is not as awful as it may seem.

Sounds good to me.

I'm sorry about what happened to you. I have a friend who needed an emergency hysterectomy at 22.

[Jelenedra]

I am all for mandatory tube tying and tubes snipped for people that have proven that they should not be allowed to contribute to the gene pool.

[SmilingSweetly]

I too knew from a very early age that I wanted to be a Mommy. I also began having my children at a fairly young age (19). Mother of three of the most awesome people you could ever meet and grandmother of one and a half. :wink:

[Pooki]

Oh, don't get me started on what I think of people who treat their children horribly. I get very very angry.  :x  I don't even want to think about it.

[calalily]

Heh. I have to say one thing, though. When you're in your twenties, don't do anything permanent (i.e. get sterilized) just because you think you'll never have kids.

Everyone always says that - I think that if you're sure at 23, you'll be sure at 33.  Operative word here being sure.

We opted for permanent surgical birth control at 23 - with 2 kids.  I don't regret it for one minute - almost 11 years later.  It is reinforced for me everytime we have a toddler (and recently a cockatiel) that I don't want to be a parent again.  We had great difficulty doing it - doctors warning and re-warning us, and had to go private.  But I thank God everyday that I don't have any more children.  Not that I don't love the ones I have dearly, but I'm very glad that stage is behind us, and I can hold a debate with my little lateral thinkers.  

And of course, there's always the relative that guilts you about the amount - don't think it's just the people with no kids.  After I had my first son, I was told how bad it would be if I didn't have another child.  When I had two, well that was just an invitation to have 3.  All that crap annoyed the living hell out of me, so I relate to those women who don't want to have any.

[Jelenedra]

I always told myself: One at least, two at most, after three I'm getting my tubes tied/hubby getting snipped.

[redisenchanted]

But that's a little different Calalily. A 23 year old with no children should really think twice before doing something permanent.

[calalily]

Ah yes, but everyone told us we were too young - that we'd regret it, that we'd want more later.  They were wrong.  

[SmilingSweetly]

Unfortunately, not everyone is as blessed as many of us here at PMBD to be always right.  :wink:

[keirra]

Ah yes, but everyone told us we were too young - that we'd regret it, that we'd want more later.  They were wrong.  

Same thing happened to me.  I had my tubes tied at 21, after the birth of my second son.  My husband was in the military, but, the military doctors wouldn't do it.  They said we would regret it, that we were too young.

So, I went to a private doctor and the military paid for it.  I never regretted it either.

[calalily]

Far better to do something. I spoke to a woman at a taxi rank once - 23 with 4 kids - and wanted to stop, but couldn't get the operation at all and nor could her husband.  She was resigned to having more kids, while dreading it, cause birth control had failed 4 times.  

I'm all for the operation whenever someone wants it - there's foster kids who need some love in every Western country. Change your mind, and you can change the life of lots of little people instead producing another.  

[Rebbie]

Far better to do something. I spoke to a woman at a taxi rank once - 23 with 4 kids - and wanted to stop, but couldn't get the operation at all and nor could her husband.  She was resigned to having more kids, while dreading it, cause birth control had failed 4 times.  

How can birth control fail 4 times by the age of 23?

I imagine they must not have been using it properly.