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1  The Pirate Ship / ARR! / TSR: Took your money and ran. on: 2009 September 04, 00:05:07


No mas?
2  The Pirate Ship / ARR! / Re: Insim under new management! on: 2008 December 05, 18:32:32
   *WFIS*  has been up?

I can get the front page, then a 500 Internal Server Error. Same with ISA.
3  The Pirate Ship / ARR! / Re: EA has been SUED 4 TIMES YEAH HAVE AT YA FUCKING BASTARDS ARR! on: 2008 November 08, 02:38:11
Lorelei over at MATY pretty much nailed who we are dealing with here.

Rock Band has also been implicated in trying to burn down people's houses.
The advice EAxis support gave him was to try to plug it back in.
Jim's email #3 is made of pwnage and win.

FIRE = BAD
YOU = UNAWARE OF FIRE


That was my fave part, too, though the whole exchange reminded me of having to deal with EA support boobs in the past (I have a laptop with an NVidia card; EA determined that I would be unable to run Sims 2 on my lappy, and, obviously, they were wrong as I ran it before, and figured out later how to run it again).

Letter Exchange A:
You: Hi! Happy EA customer, here. I can haz PROBLEM! Halp?
EA: Canned response that has little or nothing to do with your issue. Insinuation that PROBLEM is due entirely to user error.

Letter Exchange B:
You: No. "PROB-LEM." Your response had little or nothing to do with my issue. Try again.
EA: Canned response that may or may not be relevant to the area in which problem may be occurring. Assertion that EA is there for you, the valued user.

Letter Exchange C:
You: Yeah, hi again. PROBLEM has now lasted three days. I told you what I've tried, and took your canned advice, and the PROBLEM persists. May I speak to a human sometime this week, please? My time is valuable, too, and the  robo-responses are clearly not helping.
EA: Patronizing canned response that attempts to soothe but only infuriates, and again has naught to do with actual issue, though they may have started to acknowledge it is possible their product may have a problem and that it is not a PEBKAC issue after all.

Letter Exchange D:
You: Yeeeeeaaaaah. Hi. Person with PROBLEM here again. I tried your advice, as it may have been relevant in some magical way to the issue I was having and did not smugly assume I use a mouse as a foot pedal and a CD tray as a beverage holder, which is an improvement. Can we just assume I am not a total idiot and actually get a real human being to examine PROBLEM? KTHNXBAI.
EA: (OMG, a human!) Hi, human here. I do not speak English as my native tongue, and have no idea what the problem is, but PROBLEM correspondence has been routed to me. Please start from the beginning and tell me about PROBLEM.

Letter Exchange E:
You: Exasperated but complete synopsis of PROBLEM and reasons why EA advice was EPIC FAIL, and a postscript venting your extreme aggravation and burgeoning ill will towards EA.
EA: (OMG! Still a human!) PROBLEM is Sony's fault, not EA's fault.

Letter Exchange F:
You: Kindly explain why this is Sony's problem. Game worked fine with current configuration prior to new EP. Discuss, please.
EA: Canned response blaming Sony for everything. EA ARE GRAYT, IT ARE NOT EA FAULT, GO AWAY.

Letter Exchange G:
You: Look, EA, you keep telling me it is impossible to run the game on my laptop, when it was running on the laptop six days ago. Then you blame Sony for PROBLEM and I suspect it's your own shitty programming and lack of useful beta-testing at fault. How much do you suck, exactly? Inquiring minds want to know.
EA: Canned response thanking you for being a swell customer.

Letter Exchange H:
You: God damn it, EA. PROBLEM persists. WTF, man?
EA: (Human who does not speak English well.) Go ask Sony.
EA: Canned response thanking you for being a swell customer.
EA: Canned response suggesting you unplug your computer and then plug it back in.
EA: Canned response asking you to check if the power in your house is working.
EA: Canned response resolving a Madden Football issue. You don't own Madden Football.
EA: Canned BUY MOAR KEWL EA STUFF letter. (LOL WUT?)
EA: Four responses closing single Support Desk ticket, as your problem has been determined to have been totally, like, resolved completely by the super helpful bright sparks at EA.

Letter Exchange I:
You: Impolite ALL CAPS suggestion that EA commit self-fornication with its own backside at the earliest opportunity. Exclamation points! Exclamation points!!
EA: Canned response thanking you for being a swell customer.

You: *break something, eat a candy bar, say bad words*

Letter Exchange 1:
You: Dear Sony, I have a PROBLEM and EA says it's your fault.
Sony: EA sucks dong, and it is their fault, but we have had to resolve EA's fuck-up for them, since they keep sending thousands of angry people to us. Try this.

Letter Exchange 2:
You: Sony, I have to give you credit for fixing EA's stupidity. Your solution worked right the first time. Your SecuROM thing is still balls, but your service is far superior. You win a cookie.
Sony: Human sends response thanking you for being a swell customer. It sounds sincere. Go figure.
4  The Pirate Ship / ARR! / Re: More Smutty Than You: TSR's Hall of Shame on: 2008 October 27, 22:11:17
"Eau de Twat"? That is now immortalized in my quotes file.
For some reason Brynne comes to mind.
5  The Pirate Ship / ARR! / Re: What's with this site? on: 2008 October 27, 22:07:09
Can harpoons be sent to the hosting service? I went blind before getting to the bottom of the page.
6  The Pirate Ship / ARR! / Re: More Smutty Than You: TSR's Hall of Shame on: 2008 October 25, 06:05:03
Dammit! Less bitching and moar smut! Nao!
7  The Pirate Ship / ARR! / Re: Look at what I made and om nom nom it! (Post your creations pt. 2) on: 2008 October 20, 17:42:48
Lest we forget, or at least lest I forget my shameless self-promotion. I have retired from creating, as how could I top this?

http://phorum.mustnotbenamed.com/index.php/topic,745.msg33505.html#msg33505
8  The Pirate Ship / ARR! / Re: More Smutty Than You: TSR's Hall of Shame on: 2008 October 15, 19:32:32
Posted first by coconut on lj.  Wink

Forgive me, as I do not partake in LJ or similar sites. All the drama I can handle is easily available here and at MATY.
9  The Pirate Ship / ARR! / Re: More Smutty Than You: TSR's Hall of Shame on: 2008 October 15, 15:35:08
Posted by Giggy at MATY.

http://www.moreawesomethanyou.com/smf/index.php/topic,13385.msg381770.html#msg381770

10  The Pirate Ship / ARR! / Re: EA has been SUED ARR! on: 2008 September 28, 19:09:11
Well, of course not - because we're just 'The Masses' and obviously don't know that the Corporations only have OUR best interests in mind.  And all of a sudden, I've got Institutionalized running through my head.  Still, they are so used to being able to get away with practically murder that they'll keep stabbing themselves in the back while continuing with worn out policies.

Why does that remind me of $cientology? Have you been reading LRon's propaganda?
11  The Pirate Ship / ARR! / Re: why is everyone here so means?! on: 2008 September 28, 18:26:16
Mmmmmmm, coffee...

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26917664/?GT1=43001
12  The Pirate Ship / ARR! / Re: Promoting PSMBD on: 2008 September 28, 17:44:55
Hur, that just sounds MASTY!
13  The Pirate Ship / ARR! / Re: why is everyone here so means?! on: 2008 September 24, 08:37:48
Peep Show

14  The Pirate Ship / ARR! / Re: why is everyone here so means?! on: 2008 September 24, 03:25:35
I see Paris
I see France
I see a freaking emo thread!
Gawd.

If you people start singing Kumbaya I quit.

Seconded.
15  The Pirate Ship / ARR! / Re: why is everyone here so means?! on: 2008 September 23, 07:01:46
My vote is for cala as the meanest. Why else would Pescado (in his own way) openly proclaim his love for her in the newsbox?
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