I wasn't trying to get sympathy. I just wanted you to see that my mom IS a very good woman, and it's because she does love me, and she made sacrifices just so I could live and be happy someday into my adulthood. Any woman that does that has alot of guts, and I don't care who knows that bit of my personal life. Because, and hear me out, I Am Proud Of My Mom.

I don't need your sympathy, or your smart attitudes. You can sit here and bitch about me, Anita, and anyone else you damn well please, but know this, we don't care about a damned thing you people say, and we don't need your "approval" to be good, decent respectful human beings. So go ahead, complain about me all you want to, but at least some other person isn't suffering over what your saying. It's me, the cold, emotionless individual that you see right here. I don't need to leach the feelings out of people to feel secure in myself. Do YOU not care about other's feelings? Aparently fucking not. I've about had it with playing nice and acting like I actually like you people. Truth is, I can't stand you. You can go ahead, diss my post, diss me, say any damn thing you want. I'm so tired of seeing you 'mature' people tear away at other humans that you don't even know, just to get a few good kicks. Just look at how bad you ate away at all these individuals. And I guess you acomplished your goal didn't you?

I hear all these decent people, ranting to me, confiding in me, making me help them deal with the emotional problems that you people cause for them. Atwat? You are calling a 50 something year old woman a female genital, and I am the emotionless one here? Fuck no. And you people fed off of Aikea's pain when she left TSR too. Watching all of this like it's a sideshow. She was very emotional over that time, and you people fed on it like hungry dogs. Preying on her feelings. What the hell is wrong with YOU?

You can call me a troll, and frankly you can answer to this post all god damn day long until you fall asleep at your keyboard. I don't really care, because you're not worth my time for me to even come back and read your inane ranting. I've already wasted two days of my life in here, talking about god knows what, that doesn't even have to do with the Sims at all. This is a community for people to talk about the Sims. Not a community where you can tear people down piece by piece until your head explodes with laughter by making someone else feel bad. I'm tired of watching people take this crap.

Go ahead, reply. Reply all day. Call me a jerk, call me emotionless, call me any thing you want. Make me suffer and leave these other people the hell alone! I'm not going to read a damned one of your meaningless posts. I'm not going to loose any sleep over this. In fact, now I feel much better telling you people how I've really thought these years. Get over yourselves.

There, now you have something juicy to talk about. Shey blew the hell off at PMBD. Wooo fuckin' whooo. Happy? Is this the kind of shit you like? Huh? Now you've got something to talk about for awhile. Bitch at me. Go ahead. Since I'm emotionless it won't fucking hurt.

And you know what? I might just open up a site with Anita now. Yeah, it will be called "PMBD - Sucks Ass". Where all the pay creators can go and talk shit about you. Then we'll see how much YOU like it.

Well... see now this is where her situation gets very strange...

She had a very strained relationship with her mom, both step and biological. Her and my aunt though, were very very close. Some would think she might confide in her sister, since telling her mother would split up the family... but she chose not to. I think it was so her sister didn't think badly of their father. So she wouldn't be afraid of it hapening to her. My mom took care of my aunt, because their parents wouldn't. Sometimes all they would get to eat was raw flour... and if she asked her dad for a peice of meat that the adults were eating, he would smack her across the floor.

I'm very thankful to my mom for giving me a better life than that. For giving her sister a better life. You see, that same year is when she met my dad, and never looked back. She married my dad, a now retired Marine, at 16 and had my eldest brother. She's a brilliant, and brave woman. I couldn't ask for a better mom. She survived through alot of things most women would crumble over, and she's always made sure none of us ever wanted for anything... and now since they're old and my brothers won't step up and help, I'm paying them back for all the good they've done for me. Instead of running off like my brothers, I'm staying around to take care of them. They're both dissabled. My dad actually is dying of throat cancer... so I'm by no means emotionless... believe me. I'm still a teen, having to watch both of my parents die, and take care of my little brother. I care for them.

Of course I feel bad for her. I wasn't saying what I did to hurt anyone or because I'm insensitive. I was just wondering why she waited until my grandma was dead to mention it to anyone. You missunderstood me. I guess the emotional tradgedy of grandma dying brought it out of her, hell, I don't really know. Sorry if I offended you somehow, if you were ever raped.

And Dita, you make a good point. Actually, most of the rapes I've heard of have been by family members, friends, etc... I just wrote in what the 'police' study said. This was sent to me, I didn't write it.

Not to mention, rape is embarassing. I'm sure that's a reason why men don't say anything about it. Not just men, but any victim. If it happened to me, I wouldn't say anything about it either, for that reason. That study actually said something about that too... I wish I could remember where I found it. Someone actually emailed it to me as some-what of a chain letter... saying to pass it on to any women you know. It gave locations for places with high rape numbers, tips to prevent yourself from being raped, and all kinds of useful stuff. I can remember a few other things it said:

Rapes mainly occur at night, in parking lots or any deserted dark area.

Don't just sit in your car. Lock your doors, make sure the windows are up.

And the last thing I remember exactly what it said: "Be aware of your surroundings. It's better to be paranoid than dead."

When my grandmother died last year, my mom and aunt were talking... I found out that my mother had been raped by her own father at 16 while grandma was at work. She never told anyone until then, not even her sisters. She said she was embarassed, but even more embarassed for waiting until grandma died to mention it. Why do you think that is?

Yeah, we came to that conclusion a while ago. I understand it now, but I still find it slightly weird... since you don't hear of it often. It just makes you go  .

And no, not all guys are that hopeless, but many are. I was making a joke about males in general.

This reminds me of a police study I read some months ago... it stated that the group most targeted by rapists are long-haired blonde women between the ages of 19-25. It also said that most who get raped don't go to the police... so how can they really know then, if that group is indeed the most targeted. Maybe they are just the most likely to tell. Just something to chew on, though unpleasant this topic...

Oh, well that makes alot more sense to me now, and I learned something new. 

Wow... that is really interesting stuff, and a good point too. What is paraplegia?

But a man... rape... something has to get it 'up', so obviously he'd have to like something... but bleh... just crazy weird and confusing. At least I got to laugh about it for a few seconds.

He was probably having an internal fight with himself...

His mouth is saying "No!"

But his brain says... mmmm.... 

Richard Simmons???

He's gay, that's different. Gay with the most hideous afro puffy brown dead chia rat thing on his head. lmao

I'm not being homophobic... just incase I offended someone. Wasn't a gay joke. 

She's older than that though...

And a woman raping a man? Oral against his will? Not to be perverted, but what guy would turn that down??? lol

I know, and I'm being careful. I may not be religious, but I believe that everything happens for a good reason. If something goes really whack... I'll know it was to teach me a good life lesson in the end. 

I am still a teen, so I've got alot to learn yet. Thanks for listening to me and trying to help.

I just wish you'd all get what I am really trying to say here. Anita and I are not 'close'. That's why I don't worry about something like this. As I've said, we've only talked sparingly. It's not to the extent that you all are seeing it to be. We have much the same relationship as we did at TSR... meaning SA + Artist Manager. It's a very non-personal relationship. Most of it is just sharing new things we've made, sharing textures, and that sort of thing. That's the reason why I'm not worried about it, because I do not 'bond' with people from the internet for the most part. I know the dangers that can become of it, much to the tune of what you're saying.

Is that a slight better explaination? It's not so much that I 'don't care'... it's more like what celligirl said. I keep my online life and personal life very separate. I only tell things to online people that I wouldn't care if anyone knew... For example, one of my birds was killed about 6 days ago. I told Anita about that. Just for the record, it was a baby Eclectus parrot we'd been hand-feeding for months, and our dog broke out of it's gate and attacked it   . That's information I would tell anyone. I'm not even afriad to say that I'm adopted and have a different last name than my parents. (I have my birth mother's last name.)

I make it a point to tell only very trusted individuals about my actual life. A few community members know what I do for a living, and two even know my address and phone number. Those individuals I trust, and so far my trust has been very well placed. Also, if I do indeed give out that information, I always make it a trade. They have to tell me theirs too. It keeps them from leaking personal things when they know you have something personal of theirs to tell. It's really a good tip for any internet user to remember. If a person asks for your address but isn't willing to give you theirs in return, you should not give them that information.

One more detail I would like to add is that even if someone slanders me over the internet or elsewhere, I'm not likely to do the same back to them. I try to respect everyone, despite what they've said / done to me.

I know my reputation here is aweful, but I'm not going to destroy others' reputations out of spite. If I may so inlclude that by what has been discussed here, if true, that is the pattern Anita follows. Get hurt and be hurt. I would rather take on the pain myself without distributing it onto others. I can agree on some bad things that were said about me around here actually. I can't say that I blame anyone for saying I look like a girl... because I do have long hair (very long hair now), and I do dye it. I wear black makeup sometimes, and paint my nails black... not to mention my eyelashes are quite pretty... *insert girly giggle here* Now that I've gotten away from the red hair, it's not so bad. My hair is black again now. I look like a mix between Ozzy and an emo boy.  

I agree also that I did a bad thing with Delphy, and am sorry for letting the pedophile shock get ahold of me. When anyone hears that word, its not going to exactly make them happy. I just didn't think... not until after I heard Delphy's side, which by then it was too late to save. Just one of the many things I regret doing in my life.

With the poetry, well, that's just a way I vent without taking it out on someone else. If I hold it in rather than writting it, I become an entirely different person. I get really pissy and unbearable to be around.  

Just to reassure everyone that Anita isn't involved with my website, I'm changing it's name and layout, and I'm not telling it to anyone. You'll just have to guess at which site is mine when it opens.  

A tip... don't always believe everything. Not even screenshots. Those can be edited quite easily. Unless you have the conversation, or otherwise open yourself... it's probably not true. Even logs and transcripts can be edited... just be selective.

Essay ended.  

Well, I'm sorry if I just don't worry about silly things like this. It's not worth my time. This is really just about a video game to me. And I don't need anyone to kiss my boo boos... if she turns on me, then oh well... there are plenty of other people in the world. You get what I mean? 

Anita is not dictating what I say. I am perfectly capable of speaking for myself... and frankly, I don't need a person to tell me what I can think, do or say. I have my own brian for a reason, so I can make my own choices. If anyone tried to control me like that, I would definately drop them in a heartbeat... and if she starts doing that, I'll drop her too.

She knows I wrote in here. Though I don't know why her getting mad and turning on me is such a big deal. Isn't that my problem? If she turns on me, then it's something I have to deal with, not anyone else. It's not like she could do that much damage to me anyway. She knows nothing of my personal life aside from me having some parrots. If what you guys say is true, she's losing her power anyway, so... yeah. That's why I just don't worry about these things. It's too much to stress over. Besides, it's just a video game... I have a real life that needs more of my attention. That is really what I should be stressing over.

It's late here, so I won't be back until tommorow night if you still want to discuss anything. Later.

I realize Anita has done things that nobody here agrees with, and that I should have paid more attention around the forums... but like I said, at the time I was concerned with the game itself and didn't care less about the rest of it. Still don't in my own weird way.  

And about the post with Delphy... I had heard that from someone (and no it wasn't Lyric, contrary to belief, I didn't even know her at the time) and I got very freaked out over it. Of course, when anyone hears the word pedophile they're likely to cringe. After I heard Delphy's side though, and got more informed, my opinion changed about that. It simply just freaked me out to hear it at first. That's all there really is to it.

missangelica, then you are one of the better people in this world, but even I have trouble fighting fire with sugar, sunshine, kisses and butterflies. Sometimes I like to use a mace, land mines, super glue and a pit of snakes.  

I do appreciate the warnings about her, but let me find out for myself. I'm stubborn, so if it's true, then naturally I will have to learn this the hard way. If she turns on me, I guess I'll just join the crowd over here eh? Buy myself a pirate hat, say Arr! and drink imaginary rum until I'm green in the face. If I catch scurvy, then aparently I did something wrong. lol

Like I said before though, it's not like we're best friends or something. I barely talk to her really. We've talked on msn like maybe 4 times...  and most of it hasn't even been about any of this.  

Dr House, I agree... most people take things as insults a little to quickly, which is why I didn't jump all up in here like RAWR! DIE!  It takes alot to actually offend / piss me off. I'm fairly mellow and optomistic. I try to see good in everything. It's a curse.