PMBD

Here is your very own thread.  As you seem to need the attention, here you go.  Post away, troll away, or whatever it is that brings you back.  Who knows, maybe you like abuse?  So, instead of you opening every topic and thread and posting, let's employ the KISS method (Keep It Simple Stupid - an expression - not a critcism).  Have a great time.

Anyone who types their name all in capitals obviously is lacking attention :lol:

This should be entertaining. :D

<Sits back in her comfy chair>

Popcorn, anyone?

I'll take some popcorn, thanks!

Where is he?  He has his very own thread to post in.  What's he doing - troll drive-bys?

It appears so, AW.  :lol:

 :idea:  <-
Everytime he comes, you just start him his own thread, and he stops posting...lol.

Shouldn't that be troll-bys?  :wink:

Mikey fails at trolling. He is dying to get some attention. He gets his own thread and what does he do? He disappears. I'm disappointed.  :cry:

I was so hoping for some entertainment. :(

Think of it as luring a wild animal into a humane trap...you guys have to do something to convince him that it is safe to come a little closer, closer, closer....SNAP! Got 'im!!

Proceed.

who or what is MIKEY? i have been out of town for a few days.

He's one of the owner's of M&M Needful Things.  Yesterday he came back after a short absence and began posting in threads all over, so I gave him his very own.  But, he proceeded to still post in every thread.

Ingrate!  Give a guy his own thread and still...

I would really like Mikey's opinion on this please.

Maybe he will find his way over here.  I should have bolded the title.  If not, I'll post in another thread to come here for a question.

My own thread?  Gee, I'm honored as all heck, y'all.  LOL.  But next time you give a guy a gift, you mind showing it to them?

By-the-by, I already answered Hecubus' question...

Hey. Where's the beer in this joint?  *Begins emptying out trunks and chests*

You're at the pirate forum now.
Rum is all we offer. And cookies.
*passes Mikey rum and cookies*

Quit making a mess now.  :lol:

throwing shit all over the place, what's wrong with you? 8)

Rum?  Bah!  That's fer girls!  But cookies you say?  Got Milk???

Not since the baby was about 6 months old, no.
But there might be some in the fridge. :wink:

You calling my dad, deceased, a veteran of World War 2 and the Korean Conflict, a former drill sergeant, father of seven living children and one killed while in the womb along with his first wife, a widower of 35 years, a girl? He taught me how to drink rum, so fuck you. And I'll have you know that you have insulted one of the cookie makers of this forum. NO COOKIES FOR YOU!! unless you apologize...

Hmmm....
Like Milk.
Like Breasts.
No like Breast Milk.  Blechhy!

I'll take door #2, please.

edit:   :shock:   Door #2 being the fridge, for all you pervs out there...LOL

What would have been the 'right' time?

that's a really fucking good question O.o

C'mon?  The word 'breasts' doesn't offend y'all, does it?

Hell no!  We've been known to love Boobies!  :lol:

And don't forget Gwen's penis

Actually, I'm going to try to forget about Gwen's penis, but HALLELUJAH TO THE BOOBIES!!!

Mikey another tradition we have is..


KITTEH!!!


This is you:

(http://www.lolcats.com/images/u/07/25/lolcatsdotcom9r5uee7wrqb27a17.jpg)

Sennnnnsiiiiitive!  Whoa.  Girls can be tuff too, ya know!  But I apologize if I insulted yer Pa.  So UNfuck me!!!  And can I have some more cookies, please?  


Edit:  However...My deceased grandfather was in WW2 and Korea, had his tank all blowed up, a piece of it stuck in his arse for 15 yrs, and he called rum drinkers girls too... :lol:

Meh, don't worry about her, she's usually like that.


Just find a lolcat here (http://www.lolcats.com) If you want to, but it's your thread  :wink:

I don't actually drink, so I pretend.  :lol:
You could just agree that it's rum, then in your own head, it can be whatever you want. This is, after all, the 'net.
 

 :lol:
And just to add...the milk comment, sorry if it offended anyone. I've been known to be a bit naughty at times.

Kathy told me we can't have conversations about buubees without her there  :P

Actually, Paden let you off easy.  She has a great way of telling it like it is.  

I have recommended in the past that we take some of her more "famous 'Now sit down and shut the fuck up' posts" and put them in a thread  - I even have a title, Paden's Popcorn Posts.

Rum is ok, I prefer tequila or vodka.  My husband just brought me a Mojita in fact.  It's actually really good.  If my posts start to slur, it's because he has plans for me and is plying me with fancy drinks.  :lol:

MIKEY, you need to recognize when I'm in a goofy mood, hon, you'll survive longer. Yeah, he taught me many things that proper girls in my day were not supposed to learn, put a hammer in my hand at the age of eighteen months then had to stop me from using it to bang on my sister Gwen's head for all the shit she'd done to me. I was saying one word as I moved towards her, "revenge!" That was for tying me to a tree with a rope around my neck cause she wanted a puppy instead of a baby sister. Boobies don't offend me, seeing as I fed both of my kids with my own. And, I'll discuss what I like and if boobies is the topic, boobies is the topic! Meh! But, Gwen's penis was a funny topic... That's the Gwen from the board, not the bitch sister. Although, I have wondered if my sister has one attatched, I wonder many things about her... Like if she has all of her marbles in a bag like I do or if she's been playing with them and losing the damn things again... And I do like beer as well as rum! But not around the kid, I don't do that.

Couldn't she just 'catch up'?  'Cuz me likes boobies very much indeed, I do!

How do I like Boobies?  Let us count the ways...

(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/1003/mmekare79/smileys/pige.gif)

boobehs!  :lol:

 :shock:
  :D
 8)


EDIT:  I would just like to add that there is absolutely nothing wrong with being naughty!

Actually, I figured you were goofing around, which is why I returned the goof offery.  LOL  Wait?  Wouldn't that mean that...you need to recognize when I'm in a goofy mood...Oh wait...that's not very difficult.  I'm always willing to joke around. Damn!

I see that Mikey did not wait for me to get back. That makes me sad. Now I shall have to follow all of his posts, all around the phorums. :cry:

He'll be back! He may be down sick right now, but he's a persistant little begger, you know.

LOL.  That I am.  I'm starting to feel much better.  Should be back to full operating capacity pretty quickly.  I know y'all miss me...

MIKEY!!!

"YOWZERS, PENNY!"

Hi, folks. Feeling 1000% today.  Thanks for being patient.  Nasty Head/chest cold.  Never had one that bad.

Miss me?

MIKEY!!!
"In six years, we can't find Osama bin Laden, but in those six years, we nailed Martha Stewart and Paris Hilton's ass to the wall."

(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/1003/mmekare79/upherebl.gif)
More boobehs for you.
Glad you feel better, lets start arguing. :lol:

On a more serious note here, I had no idea who you were. I did a little search of your site, and although nudity does not offend me. Let's be a little real, most of the players for the Sims 2 are quite young. In fact I think I was reading on the site that was showing EA's profits and losses. Almost 65 percent of the players are under the age of 15. I honestly think although your sexy bra's and garters are very nice they should not be on your main page. Just a little respect for the younger players. If I had a site with that kind of stuff on it, I would make people upload me a  copy of their license and a phone number I could call to verify their age. I hope you have something in place for age verification.

Call me a prude, I've been called worse, but it's the mother and grandmother in me. I think kids today have enough to deal with, without this kind of stuff from a game site. We are adults, and therefore I hope most are qualified to make their own decisions on weather they want this stuff in their game or not. I don't know a mother or father alive for that matter that wants to see that sort of thing in their kids games at 12 or 13. To be honest if I came across that site or my grand-daughter came on that site searching for Sims stuff I'd be all over your host and they'd probably shut you down just so I'd shut up, cause I'd be a nutcase. On the main page I mean. Not inside away from prying eyes. :wink:

ETA Thank you Mikey for fixing it.

...too much rum...

Look, it's a necromantic moron!

Look, it's an autoerotic narcissist! Get over yourself.

How cute, it can edit posts. Are you gonna edit this one too?

Umm... wow... do you two know each other?

*shrugs* Not as far as I know. Something about that first post just really set me off.

Oh, okay.  I get it.

I was looking at it differently.  I know georgesmiles is an SFV member, I thought you two had a past.  :?

So if I think bra's or garters can be sexy, I'm a lesbian? I didn't realize there was a dress code that only "lesbians" are allowed to think is sexy? Which by the way I am not, although I am not the least bit offended to be classified as one. But, I've been with the same man for many years, more than 20 years to be exact. I am also a mother and grandmother. Which you would have noted if you had read the whole post. Although, I have seen many beautiful women, I have considered sexy, without any desire to have sex with them.  

Now if I were one, I might have been more than a little offended, you have to admit...that comment was a little close minded. Oh well, your entitled to your opinion.

This George person is obviously 12. That statement indicates that he or she does not have as much life experience as he/she thinks he/she does. Be Less 12, please.

When I put on certain garments, of course I can tell if I look sexy or not. And gay men (who sometimes have exquisite taste, by the way) can also tell if a woman looks sexy in various garments.  

What a dumbass.

That's the beauty of being a female - we can admire women and comment on how good looking they are without being labelled as gay; for some reason it's okay for us as fashion and looks are our thing, but with men it's seen as being gay :?

I have always noted women as being sexy and attractive but never being sexually attracted to them; it's the same with men, I can acknowledge that some are handsome etc but they don't do anything for me.

So am I a lesbian george? ;)

Women are inherently more sexual then men. We're prettier, too.  :lol:  Nothing wrong with noticing that. Nothing gay about it either.

I dunno.... I've met some men that are much much prettier than me.  (and i'm freaking gorgeous!)  
More importantly, straight women would never shop at stores like Victoria's Secret if they couldn't recognize what was sexy on a woman.  Or, what a sexy woman looked like... whatever.  As a person before me said, whose name is escaping me right now (sorry!)  you can find things sexy without wanting to have sex with them.  Also, you could want to have sex with someone that isn't being particularly sexy...  Sex appeal, are not directly determined by sexual preference.  If you have eyeballs you can see what is sexy, appealing, attractive, etc.  Ok, I'm getting rambly over something dumb, so I'll stop now.

Resident queer woman signing in for duty, SAH!

*laughs in George's face*

-Nacey.
(Seriously, though, lesbian for knowing what's sexy?  Eesh!)

LMAO!
Oh, hun, that was priceless. I don't know what it is, but atleast once a day, sometimes two, a post here litterally makes me lose my drink.
That one was #1 for the day, thanks for the laugh!

Ugh. No we're not. That line has been used to repress women for centuries.

Holy shit, now I am hearing that song "I'm too sexy" running through my brain.

But, I don't get why gs thinks that only lesbians wear garters, etc.  I have worn them, I'm married with 3 kids.  I'm lost on the whole thing, but I am sexy in anything  :lol:

Could you all imagine if we all jumped the bones of every person we thought was sexy? On second thought that might be fun. lol

Ok I'll just sing with Armywife...

I'm too sexy for my shirt too sexy for my shirt. So sexy it hurts. And I'm too sexy for Milan too sexy for Milan, New York and Japan.



Come on Sparkle you can admit it, I'll admit it too. We go to our husbands all sexy looking with mud packs on our face. In our old torn up jogging pants and T-shirts, freak dancing. Saying, You know you want me big boy...ooops I better go back to singing now.

The sad but cute thing is, I am old, fat, and gravity has taken its toll, but he thinks I'm hot, because he only sees my big old butt...which is what caught his attention right off the bat...when I was young and firm. He also thinks Chakka Khan and Jennifer Lopez are hot, because of their big asses. My chubby chaser is the BEST.  :lol:

Trust me, I know about that gravity thing, one time I went to looking for my butt in the mirror. Doing the dog chasing it's tail thing, around in circles. I found it when it swung around and slugged me in the head, then saw it draggin on the ground. I said oh there you are, I was wondering where you went. My husband laughs at me because I search my head everyday for gray hairs. I thought I found one today, I keep threatening when I find one I'm getting the works done, but I think I'll just grow old gracefully and maybe frame it. He's almostly completely there now, that's what has me so paranoid. What I don't understand is why do men seem to get sexier the older they get, and we just seem to fall apart? But we live longer than they do? I think that's a conspiracy by men to make us feel more secure than we should.

Hmmm I stopped looking in the mirror and counting the greys. I just bleach my hair here and there!

I quite like my grey - they're interspersed with my hair and when I dye it they look like red highlights.  When they get more prolific, I'm going to let it show.

And as a married woman with not a hint of bisexuality, I love looking at the artistic composition of mens' and womens' bodies.  It's not as if one can't look at the history of art and see mesmerising compositions.  I think that stockings etc. look so damn nice because of the shapes that they use.

OK, I just couldn't help myself.  I cracked up when I found this kitteh!

(http://www.acc.umu.se/~zqad/cats/1174329819-405885118_5fa98bca17.b.jpg)

Hmm...Just ran across something interesting. Seems Mikey and Mal have opened a new site:

http://mntlite.com/forum/portal.php




Of course the old site is still going  :?

That IS interesting. Very interesting.  :roll:

I guess this is the solution to their under 18 issues?  That's nice.

Not that it is any consolation, but at least he is making himself consistent in his claim to be charging only to keep the kiddies out.

Tim

This is true, he also took the nudie pics off the main page when I asked him to please do that for the kids. I was reading his posts, he came in like a bear, but I think he calmed down towards the end. I wish we could all come to a meeting of the minds, but they are not interested for the most part in anything we have to say. The reasons why we are here or anything, they just see us as the enemy. I myself wouldn't have a problem with many of these sites if they would put up a donation pack, and kept it up till they had paid for their bandwidth. Hell even if they kept it up long enough to buy themselves a pizza or two. But then they released it to everyone else. It's all about the kids to me. I hate that they are being taken advantage of; from anyone. I also hate that they get banned for sharing their files with their friends. We've all been kids once. No, kids can't have everything they want, but they also shouldn't be taken advantage of, used. More than 65 % of Sims players are 15 years of age and younger if EA's charts are correct. Which mean's we the adults are in the minority, not the majority. If we get screwed over shame on us. It shouldn't happen to us either, but we know what recourse options are available to us, they do not. It's not the same for them, and it shouldn't be. Now TSR I feel differently about.

PS Thank you Calalily and Soupy for the great suggestions about my hair. It's kinda funny, I don't mind the crows feet appearing, I don't even mind the laugh wrinkles. But I hate the idea of having gray hair and I don't even know why. ;)

[/quote]This is true, he also took the nudie pics off the main page when I asked him to please do that for the kids. I was reading his posts, he came in like a bear, but I think he calmed down towards the end. I wish we could all come to a meeting of the minds, but they are not interested for the most part in anything we have to say. The reasons why we are here or anything, they just see us as the enemy. I myself wouldn't have a problem with many of these sites if they would put up a donation pack, and kept it up till they had paid for their bandwidth. Hell even if they kept it up long enough to buy themselves a pizza or two. But then they released it to everyone else. It's all about the kids to me. I hate that they are being taken advantage of; from anyone. I also hate that they get banned for sharing their files with their friends. We've all been kids once. No, kids can't have everything they want, but they also shouldn't be taken advantage of, used. More than 65 % of Sims players are 15 years of age and younger if EA's charts are correct. Which mean's we the adults are in the minority, not the majority. If we get screwed over shame on us. It shouldn't happen to us either, but we know what recourse options are available to us, they do not. It's not the same for them, and it shouldn't be. Now TSR I feel differently about. [/quote]

I'm not horribly worried about the kiddies getting a hold of some nude skins.  I caught most of the interactions with MIKEY while I was still in lurking mode trying to decide on the legality of the booty.  My impression of him pretty well matches yours, and I would have preferred he remained around longer continuing to make his own case.  It was precisely the fact that what he was saying about keeping the kids away contradicted what he actually had at his site that made him lose the case from my POV.

Tim

The problem I still have with Mikey's site is that anyone, regardless of age, can register and say they are eighteen.  And if they post in the forums enough times, they can gain access to everything.

Ok we'll have to agree to disagree on that first sentence. If I came home from work for example, and trust me I fully aware that it is the parents job to monitor their children. That not nearly enough are doing so. I've seen poor Kathy over on Insim going crazy trying to keep 11/12 year old children off the site. Trying to look after and protect even some of the 13/14 year olds that don't seem to have a clue. So they are more than partially to blame; as well. I never let my own children have full acess to the net till they were 16 and even then I still monitored what they were doing and who they were communicating with. But, if I came home and saw my 10 year old child with anatomically correct sims woohooing that were within easy acess to my child. Some sex toys? I'd blow a gasket. They'd probably be scraping my brains up off the ceiling cause they'd all blow right out of the top. Then found out that there was no safety precautions taken in keeping it from child? In knowing these things are up there, and that children have easy acess to them...If I can help to protect someone else's child? I don't think I got nasty or hateful with Mikey. Just because it's not my child, doesn't mean I'm doing the right thing in turning my back, and saying oh well, not my job. I wouldn't want someone else saying that about my child or grandchild, if they could protect them from something. I don't care if I have to call the CIA, the FBI, or the Seseame Street gang. lol I think he was very responsible in removing those things from the main page and I as one parent/grandparent am very thankful he did so.  There is classy/artistic value and then there is Smut. Those sims were not created for the realism to show how beautiful a nude human body form can be in art. Just like those sex toys were not made to show the beauty of two people in love and making love. Which is fine for adult players, not for children. And children should not have access to them. Now you may commence upon calling me a prude. ;)

On the contrary, Hawk Girl, I applaud you!  I'm a grandmother, too, and I know just how you feel.

And I visited his MNTLite site just after it opened.  They were advertising a biker bar for Sims 1 which you were linked back to the main site to download.  It was part "exclusive" and part "complimentary."  The pay part was the stereo, counter with Harley Davidson logo, other mundane items.  The free part was the dance floor and a fully-functional strip poker table!  These items are freely accessible to anyone who registers.

I notice that now, that preview set is gone from MNT.  But the accessibility is still there at M and M.  I would much rather have my kids able to download the counters and what not than a strip poker table.

As I said before, I'm not particularly worried if some kiddies got a hold of some nudies.  I also don't worry horribly much if they got a hold of some adult playtoys for the game.  OTOH, I am not a parent, a fact that might be relevant to this discussion.



OK.  You're a prude.   :wink:

Seriously, I don't mind agreeing to disagree here.  However, I doubt that I would blow a gasket if I came home and saw my children with anatomically correct Sims woohooing with sex toys.  First, the 11-15 year old crowd is just hitting puberty and becoming sexually aware.  I would much rather have them doing their sexual experimentation on the Sims than by chatting with a 35 year-old predator.  Second, catching them with such things is to me a perfect opportunity to show them the differences between the human body form in art and/or the difference between the beauty of making love and smut.  OTOH, respecting the wishes of others is definitely a concern of mine.  For example, when I passed on The Sims 1 discs to my niece, I did not also had her my disc of downloads that gave the game a rating of A.

I did mention that I am not a parent, and you may well object that having such lofty thoughts and actually being presented with the situation are two different things.  I would agree, but I could at least hope that should I come across the actual situation, my response would be something like my thinking.

Tim

My duty on board this ship, I think, is to make people laugh as much as possible.

And share Sims of hot mens and wimmins.

-Nacey

Here I agree with HawkGirl - I don't really want my children (or anyone else's) learning their sexual morality from people on the internet.  What are they going to learn from these sites?  

In the case of M&M - they'll learn women are objects, that should wear lingerie, strip, and generally be a living sex toy for others - to be ogled at.  I have two boys, and I don't want them to learn anything like that.

These sorts of things of course, need to be talked about, but not presented as merely a fact of life, or a way of doing things - as if there should not be discussion and critiquing.  Indeed, all the research shows that children can be introduced to adult concepts - but only with the discussion, guidance and critiquing of sensible adults.  If merely presented with the material, they're liable to misinterpret it, and develop bad judgements.  Like opening a paysite :D

Yeah, I'm feeling that anyone that thinks men aren't naturally sexual haven't been around enough gay bars.  The sex *abounds*, baby!

Though I am all for the movement of men being more sexual.  Especially if that means they wear little pants.

-Nacey

(fixed for triple negatives).

I would certainly agree that children learning their sexual morality from people on the Internet is not the best way of going about it.  That is definitely where parental responsibility comes into play -- before they get on the Internet.

If you think about it, I would say your boys are probably already learning that women should wear lingerie, strip, and otherwise be a sex toy.  If I were a parent, I feel my responsibility would be to make sure that is perfectly all right -- in the proper context of a loving relationship.  My first instinct was to say that they probably wouldn't be learning anything they wouldn't get from schoolyard gossip on the subject.  But then, I don't ever remember discussing BDSM with my schoolmates.  We shared our parents' Playboy magazines, lusted after the bared bodies in R-rated movies, and brag about getting this or that girl in bed.  The good news is that most of them eventually outgrow these initial sexual misadventures.

And please note that nothing I have said earlier precludes discussion, guidance, and critiquing of responsible parents.  Indeed, if anything, I would say that what I have in mind emphasizes such guidance.  That way if they do encounter sites like M&M and play with the things they download from it, at least they will have a firm understanding of the difference between fantasy and how things work in real life.

Tim

I have already discussed these issues with my boys - at the grand old age of 8 and 10.  But when an "adult" figure such as Mikey, who lauds his marriage, and family values does it - mixed messages.  It's not even as if you have to look hard for it - it's on the front page, and in all the discussion.  I am so fucking glad my kids don't download sims content.

And just because I know the research, and am not backward in discussing these things doesn't mean that every other parent is as astute, or informed.  Many are not paying enough attention, and their kids get the quick message that they shouldn't talk about it - and they go to the Mikey's of the world for their twisted views.

We have an obligation not only to our own children, but to the children of others too - they will be mixing with our children and running the future world with them when they're older.  If their parents won't do it, then we should do it for them.

I totally agree with you Calalily.  I, too, have had "the talk" about many things related to the sexualization of women and men.  Informing and educating your children will give them the understanding of these issues from a trustworthy and mature source.  I think it also will keep that door opened when they have other questions or issues as they grow older.

I remember telling my oldest daughter this when she asked what to do when a boy is pressuring you to be intimate (it wasn't her - thank God, she didn't have her first serious boyfriend until 19):  You are going to a dance, I will spend $50 on a dress.  We look and look for weeks and the only dress that we both love is $100.  You promise to do the laundry, clean the kitchen, watch you brother and sister, dust, etc.  So I give in, I buy the dress for the dance.  True to your word, for the next few days you are a big help.  You go the dance on Friday and you are the most beautiful girl there.  You have a great time.  So, what happens on Saturday?  She answered that she would probably "forget" about all the promises she made.  I responded with, "So what makes you think some 14 year old boy who lives in his parent's house, has no job, no bank account, can't drive and still has pimples is going to "love you forever" and take care of you if there should be a child that is conceived?  She got the point and is today still a virgin at the age of 21.  We have always been open and honest, talked about birth control, etc.  She has not dated someone she felt was important enough to give herself to in that way.  So, talking to your kids early DOES work.  Way to go Calalily, a lot of respect I have for you, even more that I did for being the person, friend and mother that you are.

I am also still a virgin at the age of 21, so let her know she's not the only one! I didn't have the big talks when I was young (if I did I don't remember) but grew up in an environment which allowed me to see beyond just the sex and the consequences that come with it (emotional, physical etc).

I know of at least 5 girls I used to go to school with who have at least one child or more and aren't with the father. I still get funny looks from certain people when they find out that i am still a virgin, as if it's a sin to be one! I'm too busy worrying about my career and life to concern myself with sex and guys, which some say can be a bad thing. I do want to get married and have kids (but not too late) but right now I'm enjoying my life :D

Thanks armywife - that's really sweet.  God help me if Pescado sees this.  :D I like your analogy with the dress too - little piece of brilliance there.  I mostly got the talking thing from my parents - they answered all my questions when I asked them - I even remember knowing about (of all things) ectopic pregnancies when I was 12 - I remember because I explained it to my friends  :lol:

I think that the sexualisation talk is particularly important with boys - everything is sold to men with their genitals in mind - from fast cars, magazines, and even goddamn radio shows.  It sucks.  I want my kids to be more than a pair of dicks (both in attitude and in the minds of advertisers) when they grow up - I want them to be people.  

And Anyerfillag - funny looks are nothing compared to how I'm sure you'll feel looking back on good, thoughtful decisions.  :D

Kudo's to the virgins!
Seriuosly.

I went over that cliff waaaay to early. No sex talks from ma for me. She was too embarrassed or something.
I ended up preggers at 17, but it was accidental because I was actually on the pill and it went through anyways, then again in 06 i was on the pill and hello Eli.
Just for future reference, because no one ever told me this, anti-biotics void your pill from working!
Now I love my kids with my whole self, but it would have been nice to have waited to have them.
I also have 2 boys. Cam's nine and we are just now beginning the sex talks.
Any advice with that from those who've been there would be appreciated!!! LOL PM me, really.... :lol:

I have four kids.  Two daughters, 17 and 15, as well as two sons, 15 and 9.  Our "talks" have been ongoing and constant.  Anytime they have wnated to know something we have been honest and answered then (with an age appropriate anwer that allowed them to understand our family values.

The advice I can give is dont wait to have "The talk".  First, there isnt ONE talk to have, there are many.  Find teachable moments,  I remember when my youngest daughter was about 8 and we were watching 7th Heaven on TV and the episode was about someone finding a condom in a wallet.  My oldest son said "what is a condom" and my daughter proceeded to tell him "You know, its where my dad lives".  (at the time my Ex lived in a Condo).  We all had a good laugh and then a great conversation about what a condom really was.  

As they have gotten older our conversations have remained age appropriate and they now know about every STD I can tell them about.  I have shown them pictures of what these STD's look like (nothing like showing your teen pictures of herpes sores or a brain ravaged by syphilis to make them think twice about unprotected sex.)  At this point none of my teens have decided that it is worth the chance and all are still virgins.  (whew).  They have told me it just isnt worth it for now.  

The best part about it is that it has opened a great line of communication between us and since they can see that I can talk freely about this then they seem to trust me to talk freely about other things in thier lives.  My 9 year old thinks it is totally normal to talk to your parents about everything and be able to ask any question you want without your parents freaking out and getting all wierd and when his friends are surprised he doesnt get why thier parents arent the same.  (he tells me he is glad we arent like that.)

ry, you silly - no need for pms on Pescado's forums.  That's why he doesn't lock threads - conversation should segue naturally into other things.

As far as the sex talks, apart from the sexualisation one, I never had them with my kids - I've answered them as they've come along.  So I've had mini-talks with them all their lives.  Like when they started using the word "bitch".  Their father told them it was a forbidden word, I told them it was a forbidden word, and when one called the other "a son of a bitch" in the other room  -  :lol: that kid almost regretted the day he was born - with mum running in screeching "What the fuck did you just call me?"  :lol: From that day on, if mentioned, it was "the b word" - and we had no problems when we told them that whore, slut, cunt were forbidden words after that.  

As for the sexualisation talk, from when they were babies, we raised them with a critical eye for advertising.  Telling them about sugar early, and then showing the lies of "energy" is really a byword for sugar - and they use that to make sugar seem healthy.  We also showed them stuff like 99% fat free marshmallows, and discussed how much crap there is in these things.  Now, when they see cocopops recommended for energy, they automatically and very cynically say "Yeah, right."  

It also didn't hurt to have them watch a couple of Maury Povich shows with those ginormous people and kids - to show where this can lead.  Don't get me wrong - they still get lollies, but they understand that they are not supposed to be a staple in your diet, and if you don't want to be on those shows, you better think moderation.

For approaching the subject about sex in ads, we talked about how sex was a wonderful and fun thing to do, but it was important that you loved the person.  We then talked about how they sell things to little girls, and they're all pink, to boys, and they're all camouflage.  Then we talked about how ads are used to try to get you to want things.  We said that lots of people like sex, and because of that, advertisers will use it to sell things.  

I gave them an example of me.  I said think of all the things they thought were good about me (smart, funny etc) and how when you saw things how ads wanted you to, you stopped seeing someone who was smart, and started seeing someone that was just someone to have sex with, and you miss out on all the other things that make me wonderful.  We then reinforced it with their own ideas about themselves (smart, funny etc.) and how terrible it would be if someone ignored that in them.  

We told them that they should not be fooled into thinking of people as having one thing they're interested in - and that they wouldn't like that themselves, and that even worse, advertisers use that to make people into "sleazes". (This is now one of the top insults in this house - so bad it's not actually used).  We then discussed how if all sleazes are interested in is sex, then they can't have the wonderful life that Daddy and I have - they would miss all the wonderful things about the person - in favour of sex.  

Of course, it was fleshed out, and took a couple of hours, and over the next couple of days, we answered every question they had, but it's worked well -- so far -- no guarantees - they're not grown people yet.



Tell me about it - my husband almost had a heart attack when my at the time 9 year old asked me if I'd ever cheated on Daddy - in the kitchen - in front of Daddy - while making dinner  :lol: Talk about no shame.

I for one think you have done well to have these discussions with your boys to begin with.  Basically, that is exactly the kind of thing that I am advocating.  You are setting them up to deal with mixed messages in a mature fashion, and who can complain about that?  Because they are going to get the mixed messages, whether online, in the schoolyard, or the traditional media.

Of course not all parents are as astute, informed, or willing to deal with the issue.  My parents were pretty hands off when it came to my sexual activities.  I don't know whether I learned from example or copious reading or combinations thereof.  But whatever I have my Sims do, or whatever porn sites I visit, I know how to separate the fantasy in real life and would never treat any woman as a mere sex object.

I don't know what should be done about parents who are unwilling/unable to discuss sexual matters with their children.  Advocacy and education is my first recourse, of course.  I also like sites like Scarletteen where the teens themselves can go and get good information if they can't talk about it with their parents (or their parents don't have good information).  And if the damned politicians would leave teachers alone and teach sex education the way it should be taught, things would be so much better.  I would also daresay that most of the kids who pick up twisted views of sex at Mikey's site will live and learn better on their own.  And again, that is what I would rather see, that they live and learn rather than getting picked up by a sexual predator.

Beyond that, I'm not certain how we should go about doing it for parents.  The political atmosphere in the US is insane, so forget about the schools doing it.  And as it has been pointed out numerous times in this thread, if a kid wants to get a hold of some porn or adult Sims mods, there going to do it.  The only other option I can think of is to make very restrictive laws, but I doubt many laws could be written that would not be slapped down by the courts on free speech grounds.

Tim

Tim, as with laws concerning gun control, they do no good if there are not applicable punishments.  You can write laws all day long, but without involving the justice side of things, they are essentially useless.

Parents should consider things such as inappropriate touching or contact (I saw on the Dr. Phil show recently a grandfather had abused his 5 year old granddaughter - the sick fuck).  Also, when faced with "Do I want my child to learn about sex in the back of a school bus or behind the gym bleachers?"  The answer was a resounding NO!  Kids are more curious about the unknown.  I think that is why we have such a problem with underage drinking is that it is forbidden - like Eve and  the apple so to speak.  In Europe, I have not seen the abuse of alcohol among teens and young adults as I do here in the states.

One word that is absolutely not tolerated by me is the c***, I won't even type it.  It is disgusting and raunchy.  

ry, my first talk with my son, who is now 11 (thank God he can't read this forum) was when he was 3 1/2 and he woke up and came crying to me saying "It's big, it's big!  Make it little again"  I drew blood biting the inside of my mouth trying not to laugh and proceeded to explain those things to him and have expanded as time has gone on.  I also breast fed his younger sister and we talked about that as well.  Ignorance for children who are curious is a dangerous combination.  I would prefer to control the information, format it is given and the context.  I don't need society to do that for me.  We just bought him a book about puberty (he gets a little embarrassed sometimes) since we felt like he understands things visually vs. orally better.  I looked around the library and read several books until I found one that a kid could understand and one that I was familiar enough with to answer questions.

armywife, I agree that laws without applicable punishments won't do any good.  What I fear is the type of laws that would almost have to be written to keep the kiddies away from the material.  As near as I can tell, none of us here are in the Religious Right, so I would assume that the goal is to keep children out while allowing adults to have access.  But kids being what they are, the kind of restrictions that will be necessary to keep them out would go beyond what I am willing to assent to.

Europe generally does have a better model for dealing with things like sex, drugs and alcohol.  Then again, Europe's Religious Right is not a significant factor in its politics the way it is here in the States.

I do like how you have deal with sexual issues with your children.  I think it is appropriate and helpful for keeping discussions open when they do start learning things in the schoolyard.  And they will.  That is the third thing that is guaranteed in life along with death and taxes.

Tim

Aww, my dad never talks to me about anything serious.  No talks about sex, drugs, dating, school--most of that stuff I learnt on my own.  Not always through first-hand experience (thank goodness), but mostly by observing my peers.  I don't need to make my own mistakes if others make them before me and I catch onto the lesson.  <.<

Underaged (binge) drinking in ND is pretty common--I always hear people talk about getting DUIs, things that happened at parties when so-and-so was drunk, girls getting pregnant at the parties, guys screwing some chick because they were both drunk...  When I lived in Seaside, I would sometimes smell alcohol near my locker or in the general area my locker was in--I haven't smelled it around here yet, but I do know some kids have shown up at school drunk.  I haven't had much contact with drug users (aside from the drinkers), but I did know a few pot smokers at Seaside (who generally also drank).

One of my peers from Seaside, who is roughly my age, had a child not too long ago--I don't know if the father has stuck around or if she has dropped out, but her friends were all over it, talking about how cute the kid is and stuff.  There's been other teenaged pregnancies at the school, some who dropped out and some who didn't--as for the school I go to now, I haven't heard of any pregnancies, but I wouldn't doubt it.  Some people in Seaside would complain about their older siblings (who were either juniors or seniors at the school) having sex in the younger sibling's bed, or people would tease others (who sometimes would later talk about regretting it) for sleeping with so-and-so.  Here in ND, I've heard most of the same things.  I don't worry much about being the "only" virgin, of course, but I'd be lying if I said the thought never crossed my mind.

I've never been offered drugs or invited to their drinking parties--I guess I'm not cool enough to party with, but I don't lament it.  I have had boyfriends who wanted to have sex with me--sometimes asking if I wanted to, sometimes by talking about how they'll eventually get in my pants (I thought it was kind of insulting and worrying--like, they were either going to rape me if I refused or they thought I couldn't control my hormones or something).  I've told them all the same thing--it's not going to happen as soon as they think, if at all.

I once ended a relationship on Valentine's Day--not on purpose, mind you, I didn't notice the date until afterwards--because he made a move on me on the second or third day we were going out.  I don't know if that was the best thing I could do, but it freaked me out that sex might have been the only reason he wanted to date me--breaking up was the first solution that came to mind.  That was the first and, so far, only time I ever broke up with someone--all the other times I was the one being dumped.  I haven't had a relationship last more than a couple of weeks yet because not a single one of them was willing to wait for me or was able to handle one argument.

And that's fine--personally, I'd feel really weird if my first time was with someone who has already had sex with several people, or with someone who, after one argument, decides I'm not worth it because I'm not "easy" in any sense of the word.  I'm not idealistic--I'm not waiting for a prince to come sweep me off my feet and we'll make passionate love atop a mountain with an orchestra around the corner playing music while a group of angels descend from the sky and sing.  :lol:  If I'm going to be awkward in bed, I'd rather be awkward with someone who waited for me and can hold a conversation with me than with someone who doesn't even know what I like to do in my spare time and just thinks of me as another "killmark", so to speak.

I wish I had a cool mom.  Someone adopt me for a few months.  :lol:

I'll adopt you Ensign.  We even have a guest bedroom complete with bed, dresser, closet (though I'll have to move my formal and cocktail dresses) but, not worries.  I really need someone to go see chick flicks with and shopping.  So, pack your bags and come on!  

You are right for not giving yourself to someone whose only objective is how quickly he can get in your pants.  Gah!  I was a virgin when I married and I have never regretted that decision.  So, you go girl and don't let anyone tell you what to do with your body, it only takes one time to get an STD or get pregnant.

Aw Ensign, not all blokes are like that - my best mate Julia has been dating a guy for a year now and he is a total gentleman and a total sweetie. They were both virgins when they met each other, but there was no pressure from either side to loose it. They make the cutest couple and I wouldn't be surprised if they got engaged :lol:

Hope to God I can find someone like him *sigh*

The fact that you can acknowledge that the drunk, drugs and sex thing it wrong shows you're okay. Be stronger then your peers and have a life before making life changes decisions such as the sex thing. I've not let peer pressure get to me and University was still the best three years of my life (so far). If you can't have a childhood/teenhood/young adulthood now, when can you?

One more reason for not doing it until you find someone you really like:

Sex is so much better when you have feelings for the person you're with, and if you are both in love with each other, it is amazing. :D

I'm serious. Feelings make all the difference.

So don't let anyone talk you into bed just to get rid of your virginity, wait for the person who actually shows s/he is worth it.

(The same thing also applies to guys, but for some reason people don't talk about it.)

This made me cringe because my sister went into the doctor's on Friday because she thought she was sick.  It turns out she is pregnant.  She's 19 and got pregnant by a friend, not even a boyfriend.  She was also on the pill and what you said made me realize that she did take anti-botics about a month ago.  I just asked her about it and she confirmed that it would fit in the time frame.  She's still living at home and can't even take care of herself or the pets she keeps getting (Dad and I have to take over care of the animals after the novelty wears off for her).. how can she do this?  How are we going to do this?  :cry:

I've known plenty of great guys--they just tend not to date me.  Maybe I need to stop being around potheads and alcoholics or something.  :roll:  In any case, I do have a darling stalker in Canada (who is also a virgin--hooray me), but when it comes to typing in public, I'd rather bitch about horrible assholes than gush about him.  I'm shy, donchaknow.  :wink:  Though I do like hearing sappy stories about happy couples, if only to keep me from going crazy after hearing all the horror stories.

Angelica, whatever your sister (and/or family) decides to do, I hope for the best.  :(

Thanks, Ensign EO.  

<whine>We know that she is keeping the baby.  I'm frustrated at her because she has been sexually active since fourteen.  She did get pregnant and had a miscarriage at 16.  She's had many pregnancy scares since then and she still does not consistently make the men she chooses to be intimate with to wear condoms.

I've been babysitting my oldest sister's two children since her first born was six weeks old.  He turned five a couple weeks ago.  I take care of him and his brother three to four days a week every single week.  I love them both so much but already a huge chunk of my young adult hood was given to them essentially.  Now my youngest sister goes and does this..  I'm sure I'll love this niece or nephew too but I have to live my own life.

I am 21 and a virgin.  My family wonders why I do not want to have children.</whine>

Yay for the 21 year old virgins :lol:

missangelica: So sad to hear that you've been forced to become the nanny towards your nephews; yes, as an Aunt you are meant too look after them but not effectively become a second mother to them! I wish you all the luck in the world, as you seem to have more of a level head then the rest of your family (no offense). I can't blame you not wanting children, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise - it's your life and your body, do what you want with it (within reason of course).

Ensign: I know the feeling! I appear to my online friends as a confident person, when really I'm the complete opposite. I guess the barrier of location, a computer screen and internet connection enables you to open up a bit more then when around actual people. But life can change, so just wait and see I guess.

:(

The antibiotic thing is sad to hear.  I don't know if it's because of different doctors not knowing about her different prescriptions or what (though a GP should be told if you're on BC), it's not fun that people aren't being told to use a back-up method while on antibiotics.

A lot of the low-hormone pills also need to be taken at the same time, and if you miss that time by more than a couple of hours, it counts as a missed pill like accidentally missing a day on the traditional pill.

Especially coupled with a barrier method, the pill is very effective if taken properly.  It's just a shame that some doctors aren't instructing enough, apparently.

My main lesson on birth control is planted very firmly in my brain.  When I was in 10th grade, I took an elective Child Development class.  (We ran a mini-daycare for about six weeks in it, among other things.)  Anyway, our first set of lessons were on the reproductive process and how to prevent it from happening, which I thought was funny.  It was really comfortable (though I don't know how the lone guy felt about being in a room of girls talking about BC), and the teacher even passed the different things around.  I know what "the sponge" looks like (this was around the timeframe of the Seinfeld episode), and we went over everything from the pill to depo-provera to IUDs to diagphrams to the sponge.

I've always felt lucky to have gotten schooled in that manner, to know that there were all of these methods to prevent pregnancy if you wanted.  And I was already curious about sex at that age, so it's not like it sparked anything there.  But, when the time was right for me, it ensured that I knew every available option and considering I'm in my mid-20s, don't have any kids, and still don't want any, it's worked out well.  :)

Miss Angelica - I hope everything works out for your sister.  That is sad to hear that she had already learned the lesson once, but failed to remember to use protection.

I had a friend of mine that her daughter got pregnant at 15.  They are Catholic - devout, and she kept the baby.  I always admired my friend, she would help with the baby if her daughter went to school or work, but not to go out with friends or boyfriends.  If they wanted to spend time with her, they would have to come where the baby was at the house.  She didn't want to prevent her daughter from achieving a degree and earning money to take care of the baby, but she was also not going to raise her child for her either.  Her daughter is now 22 and married expecting her second child.  Her husband has adopted her son and they are really doing well.  I think because she was made to accept responsibility, it helped her grow up and become the mother and wife she is today.  I don't know if that helps you at all, but I do empathize with you for being in that situation and way to go for staying true to yourself.  I admire that tremendously.

Well, I had every single one of my neice's pets - some guinea pigs, and a cat - she kept them for a few weeks, and then nothing.  And they would come and live at our place.

When she got pregnant, I jokingly said to her that I didn't know if I could keep the baby in the backyard in a cage (guinea pigs still alive - one little fucker just wouldn't die)  :lol:

The good thing is that she's taken care of them - and loves them to death.

Maybe you should put your foot down with your older sister - be less available on a couple of days, so that you can do something else.  She can cope alone, and maybe if your younger sister learns that you won't necessarily be there for her, then she might pick her act up.

I got pregnant at 20 - and totally lucked out - got pregnant to the best man in the world.   :D So now at 33, my kids are 11 and 9 - only 11 more years until the move out.

I got married at 18, had my boys at 19 and 21.  Now I'm 42 and it's just me, my husband and the dog.  Last Christmas was the first without the kids living here. It was kinda lonely.  :(   We even talked about adopting one.  

That feeling went away though!  :lol:

I did have to put my foot down with my sister in law.  She expected me to drive 30 minutes one way to her house to babysit her son for free, plus my husband and I have been trying for going on 12 years to have our first its hard to be around kids even in your own family.  I love my nephew but that is ridiculous when she is home all day and doesn't want to take him anywhere not even the grocery store, he is handicapped and I guess she feels its too much, but he needs to get out.  It makes me angry, she is a good mom in some ways but in other ways a bad mom. Okay I will shut up and  end my rant now.

We have a couple that are really close friends of ours, I'll call the wife - Sally, her husband is also in the Army.  She couldn't have children due to a childhood illness.  They adopted 2 little boys from Romania who were about 10 months apart (Both under the age of 2 at the time of adoption).  Keep in mind that they had been in baby beds their whole lives.  Neither could grasp, didn't interact, walk or talk.  She drove 3x a week over 150 miles one way for over 6 months so that they could work with specialists for speech and mobility.  They both are autistic.  But, they are they 2 sweetest children and I just absolutely love them.  Anytime I think that I am going to lose my mind because of shenanigans of my kids, my youngest has ADHD (she's like having tripletts), I think about Sally and all she has gone through and all the times she was tired or frustrated, but smiled and loved her way through it.

And Calalily, when we were much younger, my little brother had a girlfriend.  He bought her a rabbit, her mother wouldn't let her have it, so he built a cage and put it in our backyard.  Then, he bought her a puppy, same thing.  I suggested next time he buy a swimming pool and save time and money and just go ahead and put it in our backyard.   :lol:

I am used to children with disabilities my brother had them I was the youngest but I had to watch after my brother who had epilepsy and behavioral problems.  I don't mind watching my nephew every once and awhile but she wants me to do it everyday and she is never back when she says she is going to be. (hours late)  I would love to take in some foster children or adopt if there is never any chance of having one of our own maybe even if we do have some of our own.  I wouldn't have any objections of taking care of a child with problems. My greatest wish in life is to be a mommy.  :)

Pooki, my heart goes out to you.  I will keep you in my prayers.  You sound like you will be a great mommy.

Being a mom has been my greatest accomplishment.  I have raised (with the help of my husband) two awesome young men.

I just know that you will be blessed as well.  :D

I did the same thing with my children. We discussed it as it came up. I knew when the more detailed talks were needed. Except for menstal cycles. I made sure my daughter knew about those very early on. As well as good touches and bad touches. I also made sure they knew no matter what anyone told them they would do if they told, they were to tell if anyone touched them in a bad way. Now my daughter has cute names she uses with her child for male and female parts. I asked her why she does that? She said because I get to do this my way now. Which she is right, she does. So I stay out of it, I would never contradict her in front of her daughter. I never reamed them in front of their friends. Then I tell her what I think when her daughter isn't around. She told me I could have lied a little bit when they were children. I said and if I had done so, you would have went the rest of your life wondering what else I lied about. Which is what she is going to do because your telling her these out in space names for private parts. When she comes to you with a question you don't have to go into details, but you have to be honest.

Just pray your children are not like mine, they both told me everything their whole lives as well. Still do. Sometimes things I'm not interested in hearing. I made a lot of mistakes as a mother, but I still think sex education should be taught in the home, whenever possible. By the parent, not someone else's thoughts and ideas. Just like with religion, I told my children this is what I am, this is what I believe. That doesn't mean it will be right for you, or that you will believe, as I do. That has to be your decision. We each have our own paths to walk in this life, and I will be right beside you. I'm not your friend, I am your mother. Friendships are based on judgments and conditions. Your not going to be friends with someone that abuses the friendship. Friends will come and go in your life. A mother's love, my love is unconditional, no matter what.

I did the same thing about religion also.  I told them these are my beliefs and these are my reasons.  I tell them whatever they want to know and find out the answers to the questions I dont know.  They have been to different churches and have explored different religions and I think have a healthy respect for peoples different beliefs.

As for sex, You wouldnt believe how many parents simply tell thier kids "dont have sex" without telling them what it is.  How can they make a decision about something that imortant without any information about what it is or why the shouldnt or reasons for these decisions?  

"Okay, I wont have sex.  Ohhh, I didnt know that is what you meant.  I thought sex was something else or maybe I could have listened to you." :?

Just to begin, this in NOT about politics, but the result of a politician.

When the Clinton/Lewinski scandle was in full swing, DateLine did a really interesting study group.  They took parents of teens who were all Democrats.  The parents were interviewed as a panel, all agreeing that oral sex was not what they considered as having sex.  They did not feel that Pres. Clinton had actually had sex with the intern because it wasn't actual intercourse.

Then these same parents watched as the anchor interviewed their teens about sex and their beliefs and what they had been taught by their parents and friends.  The teenagers  were asked if they considered oral sex as having sex with another person and what experiences had they encoutered as teens.  All of the teens said that yes, some of them had oral sex and had friends that had oral sex, because their parents didn't consider that as actually having sex with another person so they didn't see anything wrong with it.  

The parents were then interviewed again and amazingly changed what their view was on the subject.  Once they saw that their beliefs had influenced their childrens, and they were unaware of it previously, all said that yes oral sex is considered a sexual act.

What I found really interesting, that they let their political views influence their family values and paid quite a hefty price in the process.   Hence, if we let the media and others influence our kids or don't educate them, they will form their own opinions based upon whatever they see or hear and act upon it.  

My 21 year old daughter is quite funny when she talks about guys she dates.  She tells guys that she has waited this long, so unless they have booked the honeymoon suite for after the wedding, she is still waiting.  And a side note, there has NEVER been one boy that she dated more than once that we didnt meet and they all came to the door to pick her up not sitting in the driveway honking the horn! (well before she went to college).

Sex is such a loaded word though.  It seems that society deems the generic term "sex" as the act which would cause you to lose your virginity, or get pregnant, so then that generic term doesn't necessarily refer to anything like oral sex or mutual masturbation.  However, those acts are most definitely sexual in nature.

So I'd be curious to know how the questions were worded in the first place.  Though, I'm different than a lot of people even my age--I always felt like something like oral is even more intimate than regular intercourse because you're getting very up close and personal!

...and any time you confront a parent with something like that, of course they're going to change their minds on the issue.  I think a lot of parents operate under plausible deniability when it comes to teens and their sex lives, or whether they go out drinking, and things like that.  Because on one level, a lot of them have experienced those things themselves and many don't think that they personally did anything wrong--but they hope their kids aren't.  And if they don't know their kids are, then they can make themselves believe that they're not.

Sort of like how you realize your grandparents had a sex life, but as long as you don't know they still have one, then they're living in a nice little G-rated world in your head, at least.  It's not necessarily the right way to go about uncomfortable things with your teen...but it's really common.

I defined sex to my children as any part of your genitalia touching any part of someones elses body or any part of their genetalia touching any part of yours.  I explained that any combination of these could result in transfer of an STD so whether it is genetalia to genetalia or not it is still sex.  I defined intercourse as what it is and said it a part sex but not only part.

I remember that story on dateline and I also remember using  it as one of those "teachable moments".  I remember a story also about teens who were having oral sex because they were trying to listen to their parents and not have sex so this was an alternative because no one had defined it as sex to them.  I think we sometimes stop short of giving kids all of the information they need because it gets uncomfortable for us (having to explain the concept of oral sex to my teenage daughters would fall into this category for sure-but I did it.)  or we take for granted that they know things that to us seem obvious but are definitely not things you are born knowing.

I had to laugh at that comment about honking the horn, Army Wife.  I raised four boys and their friends (both boys and girls alike) would come over and sit in the car and lay on that horn!  My husband or I would go to the door and yell at them "This isn't Sonic Burger and we DON'T do curb service!  Once was all it took for them to start coming to the door.

I couldn't agree more.  I don't remember exactly how the questions were worded, but I remember the parents being very defensive of Clinton, until they heard their children's comments.  It really wasn't so much about Clinton, as it was the effects of media and important figures and role models that teens looked up to or admired and the fact that parents are unaware a lot of times how much their teens are exposed to and how they interpret the information.  

I too also think it is a much more intimate act, more so than intercourse.  I know many parents who are in complete denial about their kids, mainly because I have seen how their kids behave when they are not around.  My parents never talked to me or my brothers about any of these things, so luckily, I had a sister-in-law who did and explained a lot of things to me that I had a different perspective on.  But then again, my parents are very conservative and married right out of high school and have been married now for 49 years and were both virgins when they married.

Wow, lots more virgins than i thought.. I'm also one.. I have waited a long time, and will keep waiting till next year (i'm getting married! *^^*).  I will be 25.
I have dated my fiancee for 7 years.. Hehe, and we live together.. So its not always easy, but i know that my family would be disappointed in me, and even more important, i'd be disappointed in myself.
I agree with speaking straight forward with kids. My sister works at a daycare.. She mostly does the potty training age. All the time she tells me how the parents are shocked that they are saying 'penis and vagina' in front of the children! lol Then my sister has to calmly tell them 'well, thats what they are called.. Right?'

Some people rush into losing it, some people hold onto it. I was a rusher and always knew I would be, so I didn't allow myself to date until I was out of high school. Then I picked an easily dupable target (boys being so hung up about taking a girl's virginity) and got it out of the way. I have no self-control when it comes to sex, but I do know which end of the condom is which and have never relied on just that anyways. And I have this reverse-radar thing for taken boys, so I've never been the other woman. Of course, I pudged up approximately seven years ago, and fell hard for someone, so I've been a good little girl lately.

My one best friend had the choice to wait taken from her at an early age and the other waited until she was 28. Not a religious decision, she just wanted to wait for The One and it took them almost nine years from meeting each other to finally admit that they were gaga for each other  :roll: .

I believe in not having sex until you could feasibly take care of a kid on your own, without mommy & daddy's help, because you never truly know if you can count on them. Plus it's not their bad decision, was it? Even with precautions---multiple precautions---oopsies still can occur. Do I ever know that....I'm the only woman in my family in the last three generations who hasn't been pregnant by the age of 19.

Babysitting nephews
Anyerfillag:  I have four sisters and I think we all have our different issues.  Initially I babysat because I could.  I was being home schooled at the time and had "all the time in the world" compared to my other sisters.  I did it to keep him out of day care and to bond with him.  I didn't realize it would take over my life as much as it has.  Also when he was a baby, the grandparents and everyone wanted to babysit so my days being responsible for him were few.  However, then he started to crawl and everyone bailed like they were escaping from a sinking ship.  I was the only one left.  Of all of his aunts, I'm the only one that has consistently been there for him.  Two of them don't even see him twice a year.  I'm frustrated at them for it but I can't control what they do.  All I can tell them is that they're missing out on a great nephew.  Time is passing rapidly and he's growing every day.  They missed out on so many moments while I saw him first walk, talk.. fed him a lot of his first foods..

We had our hands full already when my sister got pregnant again.  I had a fit.  Dad had to change his schedule to make his days off coincide with the days the boys needed to be taken care of because I refused to take care of both of them alone.  We have saved my sister thousands of dollars in day care.  She also doesn't provide food for them and being growing boys that they are they've eaten us out of "house and home" constantly.  She's only given us a few hundred dollars for groceries over this period of five years.  It doesn't help that her husband is such a hard ass that complains about what we do like giving them popsicles but then doesn't offer an alternative.  He's also tried to isolate my sister by trying to make her move to Chicago.  She's managed to placate him for a few years about it but we don't know when he will pull that one again.  As it stands now, she can't do it with our support for damn sure.

Calily:  When we were going through the whole moving mess and only had two days left to get completely moved out, my sister still wanted us to babysit the kids!!  When dad told her no, she wanted me to babysit the kids at her apartment!  I was just floored.  Oh, she also had the weekend off before the last two days and instead of helping us, she stayed home and read a book.

I want to make myself more unavailable but with not being in college atm, I have nowhere to "hide" essentially.  It's really sad.

About my not wanting to have children
My family mocks me often about it.  My mother didn't want to have anymore children after she had my oldest sister.  She got a "fixed" and still got pregnant four more times and gave birth to three more children.  After my youngest sister, who is pregnant now, my mother made dad go under the knife!

The only reason now I'm doubting whether or not I will have children is that my boyfriend is khmer.  His father has seven children and his father's siblings in turn all have seven children each.  I don't think I can be married to him without being impregnated!  The will to reproduce is just too strong in his bloodline!! :lol:  He says he'll be satisfied with three.  We'll see. :wink:

Pregnant Teen Sister
Quinctia:  My memory is vague but I don't think her doctor even wanted to give her an anti-botic but she insisted.  I remember her complaining about it.  Way to sabotage yourself, sis.

Armywife:  Yeah, she still hasn't learned her lesson.. through the miscarriage, subsequent pregnancy scares, and everything and she still didn't get it.  It's so weird because she is so smart academically.  She excelled in criminology, something that goes very far over my head.  That sort of science has a lot of cause and effect but when it comes to her sex life and relationships, she does not even try to apply it.  For years it has really felt to me that I can't save her from herself.  I can tell her over and over but she turns a deaf ear to it.  every damn time.

Teaching Children
It makes me cringe when a forty-five year old woman is still calling a penis a "pee pee".  It's really a symptom of a larger problem.  I'm all for age appropriateness as long as it is followed up later by the correct terms.  Pee pee is fine for two year olds but by six through eight I think they should know that it is a penis along with learning the rest of their body parts and organs and how they function.  Puberty comes shortly after that does all sorts of things to their bodies and if they don't know their body before that, how can they communicate to you how it feels different and what they need explained?  That's my take on it at least.

My mother is a nurse and was all for the biological disclosure, so to speak.  She made us watch the miracle of life every year after a certain age, don't remember when.  I think my nephews should watch it too when they're old enough.

Telling your parents everything
There's always a gray area between yourself and others.  In that gray area is stuff that wouldn't be beneficial for the other person to know about yourself.  I've seen my sisters tell my parents things that has actually hurt them unnecessarily.  On something important that I feel that they might not take well, I try to at least think it over for a day before telling them.  I've tried and you can't take back what you say.  :?

Sex
Well, I guess if you're just getting rammed up your cooch for a few minutes then it's all over that oral sex would be more intimate than that.  Otherwise I would hope that would not be the case. :lol:

Pooki--my heart and my prayers go out to you.
For years I yearned for a child, and after 2 miscarriages I was informed by the Doctors I would never again become pregnant. I had endometrosis quite badly by then, and eventually had to have a hysterectomy. To this day, I have recurring bouts of depression related to my loss.
I know the good Lord had his reasons for this, but I can't say as it has made my life enjoyable.
On the other hand I have been a step-parent, and that was an experience, although not one I'd care to repeat.

All this sex talk has me in stitches. My sex talk, when my step-mother decided I was ready for it--she gave me a phamplet printed by Kotex-yes I am that old, lol, and that was the entire extent of my knowledge. It took me 2 days to work up the courage to ask her what adolescent meant, I though it was a "bad" word. duh!
My step-son, at age 9 really got me. His mother had just become pregnant with her third child, and he asked me if he could ask me about it. So stupid me says sure, determined not to let him wallow in ignorance like I had. And this is what he said, "Ok, I already know all about sex, (really?) but what I can't figure out is when they did it. I'm always home, except for when I go to school, and then my mom is at work, so when did they do it?"
I'm telling ya, if we hadn't already been sitting on the living room floor, I would have fallen off my chair. But give me some credit, I told him the truth. I didn't know when they had done it either! lol
Oh that child never really understood the terrible picture he put in my head, his mom is grotesquely overweight. But he was right about knowing all about sex. We found out later that his mom and all of the boyfriends she has had discuss their sexual prowress and endeavors at the dining table. I suppose they considered that the proper way to sexually educate the kids. Excuse me, I have to go puke now.

My daughter's 4 and I only have her.  She sees me and my bf kiss and that is it.  We are extremely careful what she gets to watch and what we are looking at or seeing as I am just not ready for the questions a 4 year old will have about sex.  She has never asked me and I am not sure what I will tell her when we get there but I am sure it will be as close to the truth as possible depending on the age.  I have had the playing doctor talk to her though.  It is not acceptable under any circumstances for her to let anyone other then me see her naked.  When the kids ask her to lift up her shirt she now says no you are not my mommy or my doctor.  I wonder if I can get her to keep that attitude through teenhood? :lol:

That's funny, because that's precisely exactly the opposite of what I was taught. I was specifically used as a foulmouthed parrot to say the rude things that were not socially acceptable to say. Naturally, this has proceeded to backfire, in the sense that I rarely say anything particularly foul-mouthed now, and have been known to shock others when doing so because they're under the impression I never do.


But it's true! Those things *ARE* good for energy. All that sugar is a vital source of needed jet fuel. Of course, the problem is, most people don't actually need jet fuel. I, however, definitely need jet fuel.

I have no problem with other foul language - it's only when they get to the fifth time of saying "fuck" or "shit" at the playstation that I say anything.  Those particular epithets are a problem for me, as are words like the n word, other racial abuses, and words like faggot.

Anyway, Pes, I want my kids to grow up very very differently to how you turned out - great modder, but social skills?  I'd rather my children have those and have no need for copious amounts of weaponry - particularly as this isn't America, where one can get a grenade launcher with a Happy Meal.  :lol:



Agreed - they are good for energy - but they don't need jet fuel until they go to university, and in the mean time they're not suckered into the whole sugar craze.

lol. My son asked me once when he was 4 if he could have a wife kiss. I said whats a wife kiss? Should have seen his imitation of his dad and I. I wouldn't kiss my husband in front of him for months, except a quick peck okay out the door with you now.

One thing I have never figured out though, you can sit there for months saying say please, say thank you. But first time they hear a swear word they have it downpat. When he was 2, I had this little Mustang convertible. We were looking for houses and I ended up on this dirt road in Yuma were we were living at the time. Big holes everywhere you couldn't get around them. I said forget it, I'm not going down this road they have it all "F" up. Never thought about it, it just slipped out. First thing he says to his dad as soon as he gets in the car? His dad said did you go look at that house? I said no. He said why? My son looks at his dad and goes I know why daddy!! I know why! He turns around looks at him and my precious child said, Cause they have it all "F" up. My husband sat there in shock, and I lost it.

Fuck, I must be going to the wrong Mikey D's! All they're giving away at the ones near me are the toys based on Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends! Dammit, I could have had something capable of stopping that motherfucker of a neighbor from starting up his lawn mower every Sunday morning at 7:30 and ruining what little sleep I get! *whines* Why do I never live near the right fast food joints? WHY, WHY, WHY???
Lol! J/k cala!