I think I've just found my new motto, for when I'm in a situation when I'm forced to do something that goes against my grain. "At least I'm better than Thomas and I want to stay that way!"
Between that and the reason you use when things are going wrong or are off, I think you are covered:
Why did the car just die like that? Because Atwa is crazy.
You want me to lie to the customer? At least I am better than Thomas and I want to stay that way!