MIKEY!!!

[missangelica]

I ended up preggers at 17, but it was accidental because I was actually on the pill and it went through anyways, then again in 06 i was on the pill and hello Eli.
Just for future reference, because no one ever told me this, anti-biotics void your pill from working!

This made me cringe because my sister went into the doctor's on Friday because she thought she was sick.  It turns out she is pregnant.  She's 19 and got pregnant by a friend, not even a boyfriend.  She was also on the pill and what you said made me realize that she did take anti-botics about a month ago.  I just asked her about it and she confirmed that it would fit in the time frame.  She's still living at home and can't even take care of herself or the pets she keeps getting (Dad and I have to take over care of the animals after the novelty wears off for her).. how can she do this?  How are we going to do this?  :cry:

[Ensign EO]

Aw Ensign, not all blokes are like that - my best mate Julia has been dating a guy for a year now and he is a total gentleman and a total sweetie. They were both virgins when they met each other, but there was no pressure from either side to loose it. They make the cutest couple and I wouldn't be surprised if they got engaged

I've known plenty of great guys--they just tend not to date me.  Maybe I need to stop being around potheads and alcoholics or something.  :roll:  In any case, I do have a darling stalker in Canada (who is also a virgin--hooray me), but when it comes to typing in public, I'd rather bitch about horrible assholes than gush about him.  I'm shy, donchaknow.  :wink:  Though I do like hearing sappy stories about happy couples, if only to keep me from going crazy after hearing all the horror stories.

Angelica, whatever your sister (and/or family) decides to do, I hope for the best.  

[missangelica]

Thanks, Ensign EO.  

<whine>We know that she is keeping the baby.  I'm frustrated at her because she has been sexually active since fourteen.  She did get pregnant and had a miscarriage at 16.  She's had many pregnancy scares since then and she still does not consistently make the men she chooses to be intimate with to wear condoms.

I've been babysitting my oldest sister's two children since her first born was six weeks old.  He turned five a couple weeks ago.  I take care of him and his brother three to four days a week every single week.  I love them both so much but already a huge chunk of my young adult hood was given to them essentially.  Now my youngest sister goes and does this..  I'm sure I'll love this niece or nephew too but I have to live my own life.

I am 21 and a virgin.  My family wonders why I do not want to have children.</whine>

[Anyerfillag]

Yay for the 21 year old virgins :lol:

missangelica: So sad to hear that you've been forced to become the nanny towards your nephews; yes, as an Aunt you are meant too look after them but not effectively become a second mother to them! I wish you all the luck in the world, as you seem to have more of a level head then the rest of your family (no offense). I can't blame you not wanting children, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise - it's your life and your body, do what you want with it (within reason of course).

Ensign: I know the feeling! I appear to my online friends as a confident person, when really I'm the complete opposite. I guess the barrier of location, a computer screen and internet connection enables you to open up a bit more then when around actual people. But life can change, so just wait and see I guess.

[Quinctia]

The antibiotic thing is sad to hear.  I don't know if it's because of different doctors not knowing about her different prescriptions or what (though a GP should be told if you're on BC), it's not fun that people aren't being told to use a back-up method while on antibiotics.

A lot of the low-hormone pills also need to be taken at the same time, and if you miss that time by more than a couple of hours, it counts as a missed pill like accidentally missing a day on the traditional pill.

Especially coupled with a barrier method, the pill is very effective if taken properly.  It's just a shame that some doctors aren't instructing enough, apparently.

My main lesson on birth control is planted very firmly in my brain.  When I was in 10th grade, I took an elective Child Development class.  (We ran a mini-daycare for about six weeks in it, among other things.)  Anyway, our first set of lessons were on the reproductive process and how to prevent it from happening, which I thought was funny.  It was really comfortable (though I don't know how the lone guy felt about being in a room of girls talking about BC), and the teacher even passed the different things around.  I know what "the sponge" looks like (this was around the timeframe of the Seinfeld episode), and we went over everything from the pill to depo-provera to IUDs to diagphrams to the sponge.

I've always felt lucky to have gotten schooled in that manner, to know that there were all of these methods to prevent pregnancy if you wanted.  And I was already curious about sex at that age, so it's not like it sparked anything there.  But, when the time was right for me, it ensured that I knew every available option and considering I'm in my mid-20s, don't have any kids, and still don't want any, it's worked out well.  

[AW]

Miss Angelica - I hope everything works out for your sister.  That is sad to hear that she had already learned the lesson once, but failed to remember to use protection.

I had a friend of mine that her daughter got pregnant at 15.  They are Catholic - devout, and she kept the baby.  I always admired my friend, she would help with the baby if her daughter went to school or work, but not to go out with friends or boyfriends.  If they wanted to spend time with her, they would have to come where the baby was at the house.  She didn't want to prevent her daughter from achieving a degree and earning money to take care of the baby, but she was also not going to raise her child for her either.  Her daughter is now 22 and married expecting her second child.  Her husband has adopted her son and they are really doing well.  I think because she was made to accept responsibility, it helped her grow up and become the mother and wife she is today.  I don't know if that helps you at all, but I do empathize with you for being in that situation and way to go for staying true to yourself.  I admire that tremendously.

[calalily]

She's still living at home and can't even take care of herself or the pets she keeps getting (Dad and I have to take over care of the animals after the novelty wears off for her).. how can she do this?  How are we going to do this?  :cry:

Well, I had every single one of my neice's pets - some guinea pigs, and a cat - she kept them for a few weeks, and then nothing.  And they would come and live at our place.

When she got pregnant, I jokingly said to her that I didn't know if I could keep the baby in the backyard in a cage (guinea pigs still alive - one little fucker just wouldn't die)  :lol:

The good thing is that she's taken care of them - and loves them to death.

Maybe you should put your foot down with your older sister - be less available on a couple of days, so that you can do something else.  She can cope alone, and maybe if your younger sister learns that you won't necessarily be there for her, then she might pick her act up.

I got pregnant at 20 - and totally lucked out - got pregnant to the best man in the world.   So now at 33, my kids are 11 and 9 - only 11 more years until the move out.

[keirra]

I got married at 18, had my boys at 19 and 21.  Now I'm 42 and it's just me, my husband and the dog.  Last Christmas was the first without the kids living here. It was kinda lonely.     We even talked about adopting one.  

That feeling went away though!  :lol:

[Pooki]

I did have to put my foot down with my sister in law.  She expected me to drive 30 minutes one way to her house to babysit her son for free, plus my husband and I have been trying for going on 12 years to have our first its hard to be around kids even in your own family.  I love my nephew but that is ridiculous when she is home all day and doesn't want to take him anywhere not even the grocery store, he is handicapped and I guess she feels its too much, but he needs to get out.  It makes me angry, she is a good mom in some ways but in other ways a bad mom. Okay I will shut up and  end my rant now.

[AW]

We have a couple that are really close friends of ours, I'll call the wife - Sally, her husband is also in the Army.  She couldn't have children due to a childhood illness.  They adopted 2 little boys from Romania who were about 10 months apart (Both under the age of 2 at the time of adoption).  Keep in mind that they had been in baby beds their whole lives.  Neither could grasp, didn't interact, walk or talk.  She drove 3x a week over 150 miles one way for over 6 months so that they could work with specialists for speech and mobility.  They both are autistic.  But, they are they 2 sweetest children and I just absolutely love them.  Anytime I think that I am going to lose my mind because of shenanigans of my kids, my youngest has ADHD (she's like having tripletts), I think about Sally and all she has gone through and all the times she was tired or frustrated, but smiled and loved her way through it.

And Calalily, when we were much younger, my little brother had a girlfriend.  He bought her a rabbit, her mother wouldn't let her have it, so he built a cage and put it in our backyard.  Then, he bought her a puppy, same thing.  I suggested next time he buy a swimming pool and save time and money and just go ahead and put it in our backyard.   :lol:

[Pooki]

I am used to children with disabilities my brother had them I was the youngest but I had to watch after my brother who had epilepsy and behavioral problems.  I don't mind watching my nephew every once and awhile but she wants me to do it everyday and she is never back when she says she is going to be. (hours late)  I would love to take in some foster children or adopt if there is never any chance of having one of our own maybe even if we do have some of our own.  I wouldn't have any objections of taking care of a child with problems. My greatest wish in life is to be a mommy.  

[keirra]

Pooki, my heart goes out to you.  I will keep you in my prayers.  You sound like you will be a great mommy.

Being a mom has been my greatest accomplishment.  I have raised (with the help of my husband) two awesome young men.

I just know that you will be blessed as well.  

[HawkGirl]

ry, you silly - no need for pms on Pescado's forums.  That's why he doesn't lock threads - conversation should segue naturally into other things.

As far as the sex talks, apart from the sexualisation one, I never had them with my kids - I've answered them as they've come along.  So I've had mini-talks with them all their lives.  Like when they started using the word "bitch".  Their father told them it was a forbidden word, I told them it was a forbidden word, and when one called the other "a son of a bitch" in the other room  -  :lol: that kid almost regretted the day he was born - with mum running in screeching "What the fuck did you just call me?"  :lol: From that day on, if mentioned, it was "the b word" - and we had no problems when we told them that whore, slut, cunt were forbidden words after that.  

As for the sexualisation talk, from when they were babies, we raised them with a critical eye for advertising.  Telling them about sugar early, and then showing the lies of "energy" is really a byword for sugar - and they use that to make sugar seem healthy.  We also showed them stuff like 99% fat free marshmallows, and discussed how much crap there is in these things.  Now, when they see cocopops recommended for energy, they automatically and very cynically say "Yeah, right."  

It also didn't hurt to have them watch a couple of Maury Povich shows with those ginormous people and kids - to show where this can lead.  Don't get me wrong - they still get lollies, but they understand that they are not supposed to be a staple in your diet, and if you don't want to be on those shows, you better think moderation.

For approaching the subject about sex in ads, we talked about how sex was a wonderful and fun thing to do, but it was important that you loved the person.  We then talked about how they sell things to little girls, and they're all pink, to boys, and they're all camouflage.  Then we talked about how ads are used to try to get you to want things.  We said that lots of people like sex, and because of that, advertisers will use it to sell things.  

I gave them an example of me.  I said think of all the things they thought were good about me (smart, funny etc) and how when you saw things how ads wanted you to, you stopped seeing someone who was smart, and started seeing someone that was just someone to have sex with, and you miss out on all the other things that make me wonderful.  We then reinforced it with their own ideas about themselves (smart, funny etc.) and how terrible it would be if someone ignored that in them.  

We told them that they should not be fooled into thinking of people as having one thing they're interested in - and that they wouldn't like that themselves, and that even worse, advertisers use that to make people into "sleazes". (This is now one of the top insults in this house - so bad it's not actually used).  We then discussed how if all sleazes are interested in is sex, then they can't have the wonderful life that Daddy and I have - they would miss all the wonderful things about the person - in favour of sex.  

Of course, it was fleshed out, and took a couple of hours, and over the next couple of days, we answered every question they had, but it's worked well -- so far -- no guarantees - they're not grown people yet.

My 9 year old thinks it is totally normal to talk to your parents about everything

Tell me about it - my husband almost had a heart attack when my at the time 9 year old asked me if I'd ever cheated on Daddy - in the kitchen - in front of Daddy - while making dinner  :lol: Talk about no shame.

I did the same thing with my children. We discussed it as it came up. I knew when the more detailed talks were needed. Except for menstal cycles. I made sure my daughter knew about those very early on. As well as good touches and bad touches. I also made sure they knew no matter what anyone told them they would do if they told, they were to tell if anyone touched them in a bad way. Now my daughter has cute names she uses with her child for male and female parts. I asked her why she does that? She said because I get to do this my way now. Which she is right, she does. So I stay out of it, I would never contradict her in front of her daughter. I never reamed them in front of their friends. Then I tell her what I think when her daughter isn't around. She told me I could have lied a little bit when they were children. I said and if I had done so, you would have went the rest of your life wondering what else I lied about. Which is what she is going to do because your telling her these out in space names for private parts. When she comes to you with a question you don't have to go into details, but you have to be honest.

Just pray your children are not like mine, they both told me everything their whole lives as well. Still do. Sometimes things I'm not interested in hearing. I made a lot of mistakes as a mother, but I still think sex education should be taught in the home, whenever possible. By the parent, not someone else's thoughts and ideas. Just like with religion, I told my children this is what I am, this is what I believe. That doesn't mean it will be right for you, or that you will believe, as I do. That has to be your decision. We each have our own paths to walk in this life, and I will be right beside you. I'm not your friend, I am your mother. Friendships are based on judgments and conditions. Your not going to be friends with someone that abuses the friendship. Friends will come and go in your life. A mother's love, my love is unconditional, no matter what.

[scrappysim]

I did the same thing about religion also.  I told them these are my beliefs and these are my reasons.  I tell them whatever they want to know and find out the answers to the questions I dont know.  They have been to different churches and have explored different religions and I think have a healthy respect for peoples different beliefs.

As for sex, You wouldnt believe how many parents simply tell thier kids "dont have sex" without telling them what it is.  How can they make a decision about something that imortant without any information about what it is or why the shouldnt or reasons for these decisions?  

"Okay, I wont have sex.  Ohhh, I didnt know that is what you meant.  I thought sex was something else or maybe I could have listened to you." :?

[AW]

Just to begin, this in NOT about politics, but the result of a politician.

When the Clinton/Lewinski scandle was in full swing, DateLine did a really interesting study group.  They took parents of teens who were all Democrats.  The parents were interviewed as a panel, all agreeing that oral sex was not what they considered as having sex.  They did not feel that Pres. Clinton had actually had sex with the intern because it wasn't actual intercourse.

Then these same parents watched as the anchor interviewed their teens about sex and their beliefs and what they had been taught by their parents and friends.  The teenagers  were asked if they considered oral sex as having sex with another person and what experiences had they encoutered as teens.  All of the teens said that yes, some of them had oral sex and had friends that had oral sex, because their parents didn't consider that as actually having sex with another person so they didn't see anything wrong with it.  

The parents were then interviewed again and amazingly changed what their view was on the subject.  Once they saw that their beliefs had influenced their childrens, and they were unaware of it previously, all said that yes oral sex is considered a sexual act.

What I found really interesting, that they let their political views influence their family values and paid quite a hefty price in the process.   Hence, if we let the media and others influence our kids or don't educate them, they will form their own opinions based upon whatever they see or hear and act upon it.  

My 21 year old daughter is quite funny when she talks about guys she dates.  She tells guys that she has waited this long, so unless they have booked the honeymoon suite for after the wedding, she is still waiting.  And a side note, there has NEVER been one boy that she dated more than once that we didnt meet and they all came to the door to pick her up not sitting in the driveway honking the horn! (well before she went to college).